The Paragon Renegade Paradox Theory
by tantalus troupe
Summary: "Now!" Shepard left his arms wide open, "Let us drink and bless our ability to still somehow be ali-" BOOM Shepard put her arms out open wide ready and embracing the light towards death. Two Parallel Universes Collide but what will happen when you do not meet death but yourself in the mirror.
1. Intro: Passing Through A Screen Door

Rated M for Mature themes and Audiences.

Jane Shepard could hear the Catalyst speaking to her but the sound of his voice felt like a downing muffled. The bleeding in Shepard's arm made her lose focus, but that was not it. It was the choice the Catalyst was giving her; Destruction, Control, or Synthesis. Nevertheless, the thing was that he chose those hers to make did not matter to her. Shepard did not come all this was to make a choice. Shepard did not come all this was to decide if she would lose her free will or take the will of the Reapers. She had come all this way to destroy them not join them. Though the Catalyst was just telling her the choices that she had and she was grateful for being given several choices, none of this would matter to her if she did not come all this way to give up everything she had worked for and dug herself from the depths to succeed. Everyone was depending on her Earth, and every species. Shepard watched the blood drip into a puddle on the floor trying to focus on the words coming from the voice of the Catalyst. She could not do it anymore. Slowly Shepard limped through the Crucible while the Catalyst just watched her bleed away. Shepard took her pistol and aimed it the best she could into the Crucible.

It took only one shot for the whole thing to burst. The Catalyst disappeared with a solemn look on its face and Shepard braced herself for what she had known to come. Shepard watched all the moments before her unravel. A burst came forth the Crucible a swarm of red and orange flames engulfed the woman as the heat hot her body. Shepard prepared herself for what she knew was coming her death. All the way to this point after watching the Illusive Man kill himself She knew that her time was drawing near. Shepard knew that those who had brought her to this point were going to become just faint memories. Tali, Liara, Ashley, Garrus, and Joker. Those who had always been there at her side through her premature death and Cerberus. Suddenly a blue spark ignited from the flames shooting its way through the inside of her body. It felt warm and familiar. The light released itself within Shepard body and she could feel it taking over. Shepard watches the explosion happening around her watching the flames take over slowly burning everything around her. Shepard slowly closed her eyes embracing the light and the death. She had a good run, she told herself, she did all that she could all that was left was for the galaxy to learn from their mistakes. Shepard puts her arms out open wide ready and embracing the light.

* * *

John Shepard stood on the balcony of his luxurious home on Illium taking in the sight of the sunset. Shepard gripped the balcony watching the cars go by and the Earth keeps going. Today would have been Ten years. Normally he would feel sad about reaching his forties, but to be honest he still looked like he was in his late twenties, especially with Humans living to be 200 now he still had a long lifetime ahead. Ten years now, at least that was what the news kept announcing and kept reminding him. They sang songs of his name and spoke in hush tones of the choices he had made. The first couple of years he took part of the speech of the floats and the interviews, but over time he became more reserved about his endeavors. Now many knew Shepard as savior of the known galaxy, and a huge womanizer. Shepard chuckled, thinking of the broad he had been with the night before that silly Asari girl with her cheeky face. She was nice to look at but wanted 'more' they always wanted more. Sure Liara was still around, she would visit and spend time with him and same with Miranda and he knew both of them were waiting for him to finally settle down but after everything he had been through he wasn't ready.

"I thought I would find you out here," Miranda had let herself into his apartment as she normally did. Her hair and her body and never changed her face still showing signs of youth. She looked beautiful wearing a short red dress and red heels with a large amount of gold jewelry on her hands and neck. He forgot how biotic she was and how she would last twice as long as him, but that is what he loved most about her was he was a sucker for younger women. Shepard turned around holding his hand out to the young woman in front of him. She took it gladly as he spun her around putting his arms around her he nuzzled into her neck.

"What do I owe the pleasure Miranda?" he whispered sweetly in her ear.

"Now, now Shepard," Miranda pulled away from his grab, "Can't it just be business?"

"No," he answered flatly with a stern face, "Don't you know it is Shepard's Day? A day dedicated to how amazing I am?" he gave her a look of shock as if he was injured by the fact she had forgotten.

Miranda rolled her eyes, she knew Shepard's ego was as big as ever this time of year. "Of course I didn't forget your 'special day'. It isn't like you had any help or anything..." Shepard just waved off her words, making his way back inside to his large bedroom. Miranda followed him sitting on the edge of his bed. "How are you not ready yet? Did you forget I was coming?"

"I didn't forget," he scoffed, "I was merely reliving my death like I do every year it does bring me such joy," Shepard undressed from his plain clothes standing in front of Miranda completely naked. "Are you sure you and I can't just-"

"Don't you dare Shepard," she held up her hand, "It takes a woman hours to look this good I am not about to get my hair ruined for a toss in your bed. Not until you're ready to give more," Shepard gave her a thumb down sign kissing her on the cheek.

"Fine, but you're missing out," he sang sweetly to her. Miranda watched him get dressed slowly. She watched the scars on his back move the birthmark above his pecs flex and the scar on his arm from the Crucible. Each scar was a small story of his something that told his story and who he was. Not just the Story of the Shepard the one that the galaxy knew, the ones that made him who he was. Miranda got up helping Shepard with his Officer Uniform keeping it nice and neat for him. Shepard liked it when she helped him out it made him feel special. Miranda smelled sweet to him like a flower and it was something he never forgot.

"How do I look?" Shepard asked grinning. Miranda watched his eyes flicker. He had such wonderful green eyes, but sometimes they would get a red tint in the right light. The scars on the right side of his face from when she and Cerberus saved him from death save a shimmering red glowing when his face would shine bright.

"Like you saved the universe," she kissed him on the cheek, "Come everyone is waiting,"

Every year on the Anniversary of the Reapers downfall and Shepard's glory they entire gang would always meet up and spend that night together. Remembering those that they had lost never, forgetting the battles fought together the choices that were made. It meant so much to each of them each year to take that time together and always remember what they had and what they had lost. Shepard came downstairs to find the room decorated in gold and silvers from confetti to lights to dinner plates. His home was huge and would gladly fit a gathering of their size he watched Glyph zooming around the room with his tiny bowtie party music seeping out of him.

At the sound of his door opening at the top of the stairs everyone turned. Kaiden turned his arm around Samantha Traynors waist beaming at his best friend. Grunt and Wrex took a moment from beating another to see their friend enter. Liara Joker and EDI stopped their laughter watching their Commander walk in beaming with excitement. Shepard grabbed a glass of champagne handing on to Miranda as he gazed from the balcony across the room. Tali, Jack, Kasumi, Jacob, Garrus, James, stood among the rest all with their glasses raised.

"Hello my dear friends," Shepard shouted, laughing causing his scar to shine bright red, "Another year has passed and Lucifer himself still has not taken us!" Everyone laughed, he smirked continuing, "I thank you all that are here that made your way to Illium to join the rest of us on the special day, a day known to others as the day the galaxy changed course but to us the few that were there that fateful day it was much more. We stood strong and proud against the Reapers. We did what we could and we destroyed them. Today marks a day we will never forget. Here here!"

"Here here!" Everyone echoed, taking a drink from their glasses.

"Now!" Shepard left his arms wide open, "Let us-"

**BOOM**

In seconds, everything moved in slow motion as an earthquake hit the home. Shepard quickly took hold of Miranda covering her with his body as he waited for the shaking to stop. Looking out the window, he saw a bright blue light fall from the sky but not falling just anywhere. It was falling slowly and into his backyard.

"We have something inbound!" Jack shouted, grabbing her gun from her side. Shepard looked at Miranda, who ushered him to go and he took a gun hidden from his wall.

"What kind of idiot would crash our party?" Wrex asked as the shaking stopped. The glass in the lower level of Shepard's home had shattered. Garrus and Kaiden made their way outside armed and ready watching the blue light fall. Shepard's backyard consisted of a large pool, a hot tub, and a grass area big enough to fit a small shuttle, all decorated with Greek coliseum and roses. Everyone went into hiding behind shrubberies but Shepard kept out not taking his eyes off the light.

"What is it?" Tali called from inside,

"It looked like...a person." Shepard said a little wary.

The light finally reached the ground as it faded away, it dropped a body onto Shepard's lawn. Shepard rushed over looking over the body. It was a woman's small frame, but severely bleeding.

"I need a medic over here!" Shepard commanded turning the body over as Liara ran up sliding next to him to heal over the body.

Shepard looked at the armor. It was N7 something he had not seen in a long time.

"There are many severe bullet wounds. One in the arm a lot of blood loss we need to get them to a hospital!"

"A hospital?" Jack shouted, making her way outside, "Excuse we don't even know who the hell it is,"

"Doesn't matter, I am not getting sued on my property," Shepard joked, "Can we get an ID?"

Liara checked the neck for dog tags before finding them. She looked up at Shepard with a face of pure shock, she went pale as snow.

"What is it Liara?" Miranda asked making her way forward.

"The ID Says Jane Shepard."

* * *

The authors note: Stay tuned everyone for the first chapter of this journey. As usual, I will state I am no writer, I am just a person with a keyboard if you do not like the story there are many other fan fictions to read out there but if you enjoy it then I give my thanks


	2. Chapter 1: Re-Do

Her body felt light, weak and in pain. Had she been floating through the clouds? It felt as is she was lighter than air. Was this what death felt like? Was this how it was supposed to feel after all that she had done? At least she went out with a bang and without a whimper. The light had taken her to a place that made her feel like she was floating on a bed. Her arm twitched as she felt a cold sheet fall between her fingers. _Wait, what?_ Her eyes fluttered open to a bright light. No she had to be dead, bright lights everything is bright this was different from death. However, she tugged at the sheet underneath her, she was laying somewhere. Murmurs were heard and she did what she could to get her eyes to focus around her. White tiled roof, white curtains, white floor, and white table. She was not dead, she was alive. Shepard looked at her arm throbbing it pain. It was not bleeding anymore, it was covered in bandages the hard shell of her armor was no longer on her just the smooth lightweight exterior.

"Look she is waking up," a voice called to her. Miranda made her way to her bedside. "How are you feeling?"

"Miranda," Jane's face broke into a small grin gritting her teeth through the pain, "Did we do it? Did we save them?"

"Save them?" Miranda gave her a puzzled look, "I am so sorry do we know each other?" Liara pushed aside the curtain on her omi-tool.

"Right arm almost had to be cut off there are deep cuts there. Leg and ribs had been shot, but her immune system is amazing the medications healing pretty well," Liara looked up not realizing Jane had been up.

"Liara did we save everyone? Did it happen? What's wrong with Miranda?" Jane looked at them both as they exchanged a look.

"Am I, uh lets see how do I explain this," Liara began pacing, playing with her fingers and Miranda bit her lip unable to look her in the eye. What was going on what was happening, what were they not telling her? Did the Reapers not die? Did they not survive was this some type of waiting room for Heaven? She did not understand her heart began to race.

"Give the girl some space," a voice scolded from the other side of the curtain. Liara perked up, "We were just-"

"You were scaring the poor girl." A man walking with his arms crossed angrily. He had an Alliance uniform on but she did not recognize him. He had the uniform of a Commander, but why could she not place his face, but at the same why did he look so familiar.

"Out both of you." He barked again and in a quick second both Miranda and Liara were gone in a second. They sat left in silence. The man paused at the end of her bed, tapping his fingers on the metal part of the bed. He gave her a stern look searching her face. She was beautiful to him, her eyes were very bright green like his her skin was a milky pale her nose covered in freckles. Her hair was a dark chocolate and was shaggy and straight. She looked like a little girl, but if a little girl had other people's blood on her face and armor.

"Jane Shepard. Alliance Commander, first human Spectre, Captain of the Normandy" he proclaimed to her, "That is your name correct?"

"Yes," she raised an eyebrow, "Do I know you? What is going on?"

"My name is John Shepard. Alliance Commander, first human Spectre, Savior of the galaxy." he tossed her his dog tags. Holding them in her hand confused her. Who the hell was this person?

"I don't understand...I don't have a brother my only family member are my parents,"

"Oh, you have parents." John walked over and sat in a chair next to her bed, "That must be nice,"

"I am sorry, is this one of Jokers jokes? Did he pay you to be here because this is not funny anymore," Jane tried getting up but screamed from the pain. It shot through her body and made her feel like she was sick as if she needed air needed to breathe again. She didn't understand anything that was going on, why did Miranda look at her as if they were strangers?

"So you know Joker too. How do you know him?" John tapped his hand to his mouth with a stern look on his face trying to fit pieces together that did not fit, "You also recognized Liara and Miranda... Strange,"

"Joker is my pilot of the Normandy, Miranda use to work for Cerberus she brought me back to life, Liara is the Sha-" Shepard stopped herself from saying anymore. Liaras secret was hers to keep she could not tell any man she did not know.

"I am aware that Liara is the Shadow Broker," John Shepard told her sitting back in his chair, "Question is that how do YOU know? Are you a spy or something? Then again I havent been attacked by a injure spy before maybe the universe is trying to tell me something. That I am getting old." John looked up to see Jane giving him a baffled look; "Sorry I was rambling mind if I check something?" John did not wait for an answer he took a hold of Janes uniform. Jane watched his eyes flicker to a red she knew so well. Unzipping the front exposing a black tank top. She slapped him as hard as she could. When she did, he saw it flicker in her eyes, the blue of the ocean.

"Excuse me?" She demanded, but he ignored the outburst, though his face hurt like hell he acted as if he was not phased by the burning sensation in his face. "Look at this," he whistled, "You scar,"

"My scar is from Cerberus your ass," the blue faded, returning to the bright green eyes he had seen since he looked in the mirror an hour ago. John Shepard, un-buttoned his shirt, pulling down the shirt underneath he showed her his scar. The same small scar like scar on the upper part of his chest.

"This doesn't make sense," she said, zipping her uniform back up, "How do we know? How do we know this is real?"

"What was the last thing you remember Jane?" He asked sitting back down. Her eyes searched the room around her as if something would stick out something would tell her what she was looking for. She tucked her hair behind her ear looking up into his eyes. "I was talking to the Catalyst."

That was it. That was all that he needed to know this was without a doubt some weird hot version of himself and that alone was how he knew. "Jane Shepard," he said standing up, "You were given three options by the catalyst that is something I have never since that day told anyone else. The only way you would have known would have to be there. You are not a AI, we checked, you are not a weird life form and when we pull up your ID your DNA is mine."

"So what does this mean? We're the same person?" She pulled on the sheets under her. "That is impossible,"

"Impossible is not a real word. Not after what I had seen," John pulled a datapad from the table handing it to her, "Any historical information will be on here. We have to figure out exactly what you know and what I know. Or something I don't know I have never been in this situation before and I have slept with the consort," he shivered a little.

"John?" a knock came from the door and Kaiden let himself in.

"In here," he held up his hand and waved,"

"You know when you told me you put an infirmary in your home, I thought you were kidding," Kaiden laughed pulling the curtain aside.

That was it. That is how she knew this was real. That this was a parallel universe or that she was dead, she had to be dead those were the only two reasons. Kaiden looked older but he had aged well, he had a scruffy five o-clock shadow, the same haircut, and the sly grin he had on his face she knew in her dream. Water formed in her eyes and flooded down her cheeks. Jane held her hand out towards him, "Your'e alive?"

* * *

Shepard and Kaiden made their way from a narrow hallway back to the party. Everyone had stood around murmuring and stopped when he came in. Wrex and Grunt however could not give a care for the human's problems and were outside fighting. Jacob and James sat on the sidelines taking bets.

"What the fuck is going on Shepard? Who is the girl?" Jack asked chugging her champagne,

"How does she know me?" Liara asked with a worried look on her face, "I do not understand."

"Everyone this is going to be hard to explain but uhm. That girl is me," Shepard scratched the back of his head. Everyone started laughing. "It isn't funny," he pouted like a child.

"Shepard that is just not possible, " Jack laughed, crossing her arms,"First off, that is definitely NOT you at all, I mean she doesn't even have a p-"

"Don't." Miranda warned her with a stern look. Jack laughed even harder.

"She knows things I would only know. Things I have not even told any of you," his eyes glanced quickly at both Liara and Miranda who exchanged a look. "We have the same scar from Cerberus, her ID comes up as mine our blood, and everything is exactly the same." Shepard shrugged, "I mean I know it is a long shot..."

"Not really," Joker leaned against the couch, "I believe it."

Everyone gave Joker a look as if he had gone insane as if he was crazy especially EDI. Joker looked around the room as their faces. "Guys, we fought Shepard's Clone on the Citadel. I mean, how is this more surprising than that? I have seen more shocking things in porno vids than this,"

"Gross." Garrus said shuttering.

"See even Joker believes it. Plus, how would she know who Liara and Miranda was when she saw them?" Shepard protested.

"Well, where is she?" Jack cracked her knuckles. "Let's force the answer out of her."

"We can't" Kaiden said, taking a swig of whiskey, "She passed out."

"Casanova here made her cry and pass out," Shepard laughed punching Kaiden in the arm grabbing a beer from his fridge.

"Well, not what then?" Garrus asked, "Let a female you run around the universe? That cannot end well. I mean we just ended those rumors about you and the Consort."

"Ha-ha, yeah rumors," Shepard drank nervously thinking. What was he supposed to do? Let the girl die from injuries? He had to figure out what the hell she was and how she ended up here. There was no such thing as parallel universes yes the idea may be true, but what proof was there that there is another galaxy out there with a female him saving the galaxy single handedly. However, what was he to do? What choices did he have to make she was already resting in his home and his curiosity was eating away so badly at him, he just couldn't leave her he wanted to study her learn about her life. John Shepard should have been surprised a female him came shooting from the sky, but to be honest he was not at all surprised. As Joker had said, they had fought stranger things than this. This made more sense than most things. However, Jane knew about the Catalyst and the Crucible. She knew a deep secret he clung to that was his alone the fact that the course of the world was held in his hands for moments. A moment where he had so much power and so much choice that he could have done what he wanted without having to worry about others and yet he didn't he did what he knew was best for everyone and he sure as hell was not about to spend another 5 years chasing Reapers and Collectors he deserved his tenure.

"She will stay here with me," he announced. Everyone started shouting and claiming their reasons why it may be a horrible idea or why it was so stupid. Shepard sighed looking around the room his eyes fell to Liara who was just standing there shrugging as if to tell him 'What can you do?'

"Enough." Johns voiced boomed and everyone had fallen silent, "She stays. That is final. The party is over everyone get out. Too much has happened tonight we can do this another time," With that John threw his bottle against the wall and went out back.

Tali looked over to Kaiden, "Will Shepard be alright?"

Kaiden shrugged, "It's been a weird day I think he just needs time to himself. Liara?" Liaras head perked up, "Would you mind staying? You are the best medical person we have right now who could also possibly figure this out with him. No offense," he nodded to Miranda, who blushed and just shrugged. Miranda knew it was true if there was anyone who should be at his side, it should Be Liara T'Soni she would be better as his side right now than she would. What could she do? Give him kind words, but nothing really more. It is not as if she spent two years, bringing him back from death or anything. It was not as if she had done everything to help him and be there for him, now some girl flies into his backyard, and now she was in fourth place for his attention instead of third. Because lets face it, Kaiden would always be first now she was just tied with the girl from the sky and Liara. Miranda grabbed her purse clutching it tightly she put her other hand on Liara's shoulder.

"You will let us know if anything changes." Miranda asked. Liara nodded and everyone began gathering their things, making their way out with very few goodbyes. They all knew they would see each other soon and did not think much of giving farewells. They were not long saving the galaxy from certain death. Goodbyes were now something they did not feel they had to do each time they saw each other. Before when the Reapers were coming goodbye meant 'Who knows if we will even see each other again' now with the world safe it was okay to not say goodbye.

Kaiden went out back to see Shepard looking pissed, "I told you we can do this again soon I am sorry Grunt,"

"I came here to eat and fight and that is what I am going to do," Grunt commanded. In addition, Wrex nodded. "We fight Shepard,"

"Just go fight somewhere else," Shepard rolled his eyes

"No way Loco I got money on this fight!" James pumped his fist in the air.

"How about this," Shepard's eyes flickered red as he walked up to Grunt and head butted him as hard as he could knock Grunt back. Wrex laughed, slapping the Commander on the back, "Leave the man Grunt, he has his women to watch over. Come we can fight in a bar in Illium near the political asari and make everyone uncomfortable."

"I'm down. You coming Alenko?" Jacob asked heading inside. Kaiden gave a look to John worried, "I could stay."

"Nonsense," Shepard shook his head, "Go, I can see you anytime I want how many times do we get to see Grunt and Wrex fight?"

"I have asked Liara to stay. I hope that is all right. I figured she would be best fit for this situation," Kaiden admitted.

"No you're right." John shuffled money from his pocket, putting it in Kaidens hand, "Put five on Grunt his head is made out of goddamn metal."

"Whatever you say Commander," Kaiden joked. Shepard hated that they all still called him Commander because he was not anymore. He was not their Commander now he was a Shepard War Hero. However, it was one of those things that would never leave him he guessed.

"Hey Alenko?" Shepard stopped him before he went inside. "I don't know what you did in that parallel universe to that poor girl but she looked like she had seen a ghost."

Kaiden looked at Shepard his eyes bright green again and watched Illium dark skies and bright stars, "She's cute huh? Don't tell Samantha." With that, Kaiden left.

Shepard was left sitting outside watching the stars. He had watched them for hours after everyone left. Liara made her way quietly to his side sitting on his alabaster bench. "I gave her something to help her sleep. Jane was very quiet wouldn't give me eye contact."

"It's been a hard day for her. I hope that we are able to get this sorted. How are her injuries?"

"She'll be alright, her arm will scar though."

However, John knew that. If Jane was him she would have a scar on her arm to last till she dies whenever that would be even he did not even know that. John took the beer in his hand and drank it slowly putting his arm around Liara and she let him. Liara would always let him not matter what would happen with him and Miranda. Liara knew about all of it and she assumed Shepard was aware but was pretending like her normally did that it did not mean anything that it was just a 'thing' and nothing more. Liara knew he probably told Miranda the same thing about her. Yes, there had been nights that she had cried about it over him and she always knew not only would she out live him but also she could have any Asari that wanted her and Feron had been there more than a handful of times for her. Feron would always be her fall back they both knew it, but he was by her side always she did however, never once mention it to Shepard because he would either drop her or ask her to drop him to the curb and he would just continue this cycle without jealousy.

"What now Shepard," Liara asked, trying to push her running mind in to peace

"Now we wait. Hopefully she doesn't try to kill me in my sleep." he laughed.

"I doubt that she doesn't seem like the type to do so." Liara put her fingers through his. John leaned his heads against hers, "Would you like to go to bed?"

"I would yes," he nodded slowly, "Maybe there is room for us both in mine?"

"I'll take a guest room thank you." Liara got put but John took a good grip of her hand, she turned and his eyes flickered the tint of red. "I've had a very long and very strange day where I find out there is a woman version of me. Any chance you would reconsider? For me?" he pleaded softly in a tone Liara could never resist. She smiled, "Come," and he led her to his room.

* * *

Jane had spent most of the night going through the data pad. She had woken up hours after given sleep medication and had spent it all studying and researching. How the galaxy rebuilt itself the changed it had made and the choices of peace that were made. There would always be crime, yes but as far as worlds fighting and war there had been nothing since the Reapers and Collectors, which made her heart happy. Maybe if this Shepard had made the choice she had this is what was waiting for her back home. Jane kept thinking she would wake up any moment and this would be a dream and she would see her friends, her real friends, and they would celebrate and it would all be over. She knew it was not though she had pinched herself enough to know that it was not. The Liara she saw was not hers; the Miranda she saw was not her best friend. The Kaiden she knew for a fact could never be hers and all of it weighed so heavily on her heart to see faces she knew but for them all to feel like a ghost. Jane could not read anymore, she had to get up. Her body ached, but god was she hungry.

Slowly she opened the door to her room looking down the hall, she followed it until it opened up to a living room. The walls were pure white and sleek all the floors were wooden and cold on her bare feet. The first floor to the left had a back area where there was a bar and fireplace with a TV. Jane found the front door the floor was pale white linoleum and was higher up as if you made a small entrance when coming home. The other side of the first floor had a couch and several rooms under the stairs and top floor to sleep in The kitchen was near the back of the first floor large with a small dining room to its side. It looked so much like Anderson's on the Citadel, but with more bedrooms and a huge amazing backyard. Jane forgot about her intense hunger as she went outside. The sun was barely raising the sky was purple and white with very little clouds. She watched wind move the grass under her feet and her hair whipped around her face. The sun. The sky. There were no Reapers there were no Collectors there was no Crucible. Their world was free from the pain and from all that they had lost all that was given up.

John was awoken but the sound of silence. He looked over to see Liara was gone. He looked at his messages on his data pad and of course, she left one. 'Gone away on Shadow Broker business' it said. He knew that meant she regretted last night and no matter how much he needed her she would not stay. Shepard pulled on a black shirt and black sweatpants as he opened the door to his balcony he saw a figure downstairs. It was Jane.

Jane was looking up at the sky tears rolling down her face smiling


	3. Chapter 2: Small Talk

Jane Shepard wiped her face before coming inside. If there was one thing that was the same in both worlds it was they both like to completely push whatever feelings they had inside and forget that they were there. She wouldn't admit she had cried and John would never ask her if she was okay and comfort her because that wasn't her and that wasn't him. When Jane came inside John was in the kitchen cooking. Jane was still nervous about all of this and approached him slowly. The entrance to the kitchen had a large opening and the bar, sitting attached to the other side of the counter. Jane sat down as John looked up to see her.

"Afternoon," he nodded.

"What time is it?" she asked as he handed her a glass of water.

"About noon," he handed her a plate of eggs, Canadian bacon, and pancakes.

"You... can cook?" Jane asked, a little surprised.

"Kaiden has taught me," he shrugged. "I'm okay, but I can still burn water. I think of it as a slight gift."

He sat next to her and they ate in the most awkward silence that they had ever felt in their lives. It was a weird feeling to be literally sitting next to yourself to be actually in the same room as something that was you even if it really wasn't. Although Jane was filled with confusion and she did not understand anything happening John was having the complete opposite feeling. John Shepard was so excited and thrilled and over night had completely accepted the idea that there was another universe where there was a woman. He watched her eating when she looked up at him puzzled and he just pretended to be looking at a plant. Jane thought the male version of herself was a little weird. All this was weird. How was John just accepting this? Didn't he have any questions?

"Stop watching me eat," she finally told him.

"I'm not," he insisted eating his food smiling a little.

When they had finished John tapped his finger on the counter not to sure what to say. He was realizing if he had not pushed Liara to sleep with him she would still be here knowing exactly what to say in this situation. But she wasn't and he was stuck alone in this situation. What was he supposed to say? Yesterday all he got was slapped and Kaiden made her pass out so it was not going so well yet. She was cute though, like Kaiden had said.

"So," Jane started putting her hands on the table. "I read some of the stuff you gave me,"

"You did?" he looked a little surprised by it.

"But you left a lot out... What happened after the Reapers? Did it really destroy everything? How were we able to rebuild? Also, if we were able to rebuild how were you able to? Also, how are you not dead? Am I dead in my universe is my body there? But I guess since this a different one and I still have injuries so I guess that doesn't work. But then again, I did fight my clone, so really anything is possible..." Jane looked up at John, who just had a blank stare on his face. Jane shrugged.

"Liara told me that technically this is possible your future in your world, I cannot expose you too much for everything. I guess she thinks if you go back home and you know about the future, it can change courses or some shit." he rolled his eyes taking their plates. "That is why she only let me give your files on the past."

"How long has it been John? Since the Reapers?" Jane was staring at a picture of the gang from the Anderson's room on the Citadel that was hanging in the Johns living room. She walked over to it putting her hand on it. The photo was so much like hers, but it was missing so many things. Kaiden sat where Ashley sat in hers, Thane was in his where Cortez stood in hers, Cortez was in his but sat next to Miranda where Joker sat in hers. It was bizarre. John stood behind her watching her face as she ran her hand along the faces.

"It has been Ten years."

"By the goddess," she whispered. Ten years since everything? That was something she never thought that would happen. To be quite honest, she never even thought about life after the war. Jane had never made plans for after it because she knew the war would end but she never knew what could come after. So this house is what would come for her after the war? But what if they didn't get the same things?

"I chose not to continue serving on the Alliance and did not keep or take back my Spectre title," John told her sitting on the couch. "I am sure if I had I wouldn't have this place I would be probably still out on the Normandy solving the galaxy problems." Nowadays, though the only problems there were was gangs or ruins to dig up but those days for him were over. He knew his heart would always be amount the stars, but a part of him needed some ground to finally fall on. "I spent the first couple years after the war, rebuilding with Hackett. After that I realized I needed a place besides the Normandy. So I had this built based off of Anderson's apartment. A year later here I was. Retired and alive. Guns don't point my way anymore."

The door bell rang and John got up to answer it. Jane watched the photo with such intent. This face felt like memories even if they were nothing more. She was no longer feeling pain, but more confusion, she was in a world where those she loved had lived and it felt like she had died. She wanted to know what the future had in store what her world could do to rebuild. She got it through why he couldn't tell her because she had to find her own way. Even if it was a horrible rule. Jane turned when she heard the sound of more than one foot steps. John was walking back in was Jack carrying a bag. Jack had let all put the hair in the front left side of her head grow out it was in a long thin ponytail. Her hair had a streak of white and she wore a black sleeveless turtleneck crop top and harem style brown pants with boots. Not her Jack, but still Jack.

"Hey there I'm Jack," Jack went to put her hand out but slowly took it back. " I guess you already know me, huh fucking weird man,"

Jane smiled, "Even here Jack you still have a sailor mouth." Jack circled the girl as if she was on display. John sat on the couch watching Jack slowly sink it in.

"This is crazy Shepard she's like a sexy version of you," Jack touched the ends of Jane's hair and Jane didn't pull away, "How about you and I give John some fun,"

"Be nice Jack," John warned her.

"I am I am." Jack pulled away, "So lay it on me. Tell me something about myself."

Jane thought for a moment, but she didn't have to think long about it.

" I want to deploy a big fucking bomb. And I want to watch from orbit when it goes." Jane replied she began to tell Jack all the feelings she had when she was locked up as a child. How the one way window made her feel, how seeing the other children laughing and playing while they kept her locked up hurt her so much, and how when she finally got out she had joined gangs and pirates and the horrible things they had done to her. Jack eye widened.

Those were the words she had said in private to John when she asked him for help. She knew only he would know but would never tell anyone. That was not who John was to spill secrets as he had too many of his own. Yes, John was horrible at keeping his own because everyone knew he was both a asari and a human biotic in his bed but they were still not her secrets to give out. Hearing all those stories of herself come from a mouth she did not know was the weirdest feeling she had ever had. It was like finding out someone had followed you your entire life. Jack felt naked with her words. This girl in front of her was a Shepard a fearless leader of her own galaxy and it made her head hurt. Doing all this made Jane's head hurt too. After telling Jack her own life story she threw her body onto the couch.

"Are you alright?" John asked.

"Yes, just a little tiring all of this," she motioned to where Jack was standing in her own little world,"I need to lie down for a minute,"

"There is a room down the hall left of the kitchen you can use that one," John got up handing her the bag of clothes. Jane nodded silently she looked at Jack not to sure what to say to her. Jack looked a little sick and maybe it was the things she said that hurt her. John watched Jane's eyes flicker a slight blue before she went over to Jack and put her hand on her shoulder, "You have been brave," Jane said, "You always have been. You took charge when it came to teaching those kids and you took charge when it came time to fight the Reapers. You were a good solider when it came down to it and would not have asked for anyone else to take your place on my team," Jane patted her shoulder and took off for the room. When they heard the door close Jack let out a heavy sigh shaking her head.

"This is weird Shepard," she said, sitting down exhausted, "It is like she fell from Heaven she's such a goody two shoes. Maybe she and the Cheerleader were best friends."

"Probably," he joked punching her in the arm.

"Speaking of cheerleaders," Jack punched back, "Hows the old ball-and-chain? She here?"

"No. She isn't her and I are not like that," John said flatly.

"Makes sense don't need too many people in your bed. It was only a week ago I came to see you and found a cheerleader in your bed. Maybe you're just forgetting." John knew she wouldn't have gone and told anybody and Jack had a way of letting herself in so she was able to put it all together when she found a pile of clothes leading to Johns room and a naked Miranda in his bed. Guess it really wasn't that hard to piece together. Miranda and still be asleep and John had begged Jack not to say anything and she agreed.

"I'm not the one who needs to forget that," John gave her a warning tone.

"Yeah, I hear you my lips are sealed. Anyways, I gotta go can't leave the little one alone too long," she motioned her head to the door. John got up, walking her to the door.

"How is she?" he asked, walking her out of the entrance and to the elevator down the hall. The hall outside his come was made with glass you could see other buildings and all the grass and flowers growing below it. Jack smiled a little pressing the button on the Elevator to go down. "Good, too young to know what her powers are, so I am always worried she is going to pick up Eezo and throw him. We all know that'll just piss him off, but he won't hurt her. Damn varren tries to cuddle with her in bed. It's gross." The elevator arrived and Jack got in.

"I'd like to have her meet Jane," she began, but John put his hand up in defense.

"No way. Jane can't know about what happens to you after the Reapers. It'll affect her if we find a way for her to get home. So I got to figure out what to do with her stuck in my house till then."

Jack waved him off, "Yeah, yeah I got a message from Liara," Jack rolled her eyes, pressing the down button, "Don't worry John you _always _have fun things to do in your house. I believe the main attraction in your bed." Jack stuck her tongue out before the elevator closed. John stood there watching it go down his angry expression he hoped Jack could feel on the ride down. But, what she said was true and he was not about to pretend it wasn't. John headed back in his place sitting on his couch, he turned on the TV. Realizing he can't have the news on he switched it to one of those horrible day time dramas featuring a turian an a asari in love or something like that he figured. Letting Liara leave was a poor choice but it was because he coaxed her into his bed last night. Now he had to think of a way to deal with the issue at hand: What the hell to with Jane. He was interested in her mind, though what she was feeling about her world she came from. He had so many questions for her and he hated that all of this was overwhelming for her because he wanted the time to pick her brain. Seeing other people tried her out, but maybe it was what she needed to get home. John began running a plan in his mind slowly drifting off to sleep.

* * *

_"She needs to go home Shepard."_

_"She does not belong here."_

_"She needs to return to her home."_

_"She needs to save her kind."_

Johns eyes opened and he sat up, looking around the room. No one was there. It was dark outside now, but he had been alone. It had been ages since he had heard the voice in his head speak he didn't like it. John got up checking the time. 7:00 his clock said. John figured he might as well check up on Jane since he had fallen asleep. He made his way down the hall and to her room. "Jane?" he knocked letting himself in. There were clothes everywhere scattered all over the floor and the bed.  
"Jane?" he called again, but no answer. Looking in the bathroom, he saw damp towels on the floor and her suit laying on the counter. If she was running around naked he was going to be having a entirely different problem in a few moments. Shaking the thought away he went out into the living room. Calling her name again, but no answer. Searching he made his way back into the Infirmary. She was not there, but there were signs that she had been. Medical bandages with dried blood on them were in the trash and it looked as if she had dressed a new bandage herself. Bandages and medical tape were left on the bed she had been on the day before, but still no sign of Jane. John began to panic a little. What if she was gone already? What if she had just up and left? Dear god, what if she was roaming Illium naked? John made his way through the house and upstairs. Going into his room there she was sitting on his bed, she was wearing a pair of black skinny pants and a black tank top and one of his N7 hoodies. The relief he felt surprised him, was he really that worried about her?

Jane looked up wiping her eyes. "I fell asleep," she said like a child. Johns face broke into a smile and he came and sat next to her.

"I couldn't find you," he tried to sound upset but he wasn't.

"Sorry," she patted down her brown hair, "You were asleep and I didn't want to wake you so I came up here to look for something for my headache since the infirmary didn't have anything and I guess I took too much," she smiled sheepishly.

"It's alright, you could have woken me up. Are you hungry?" Jane nodded and he ruffled her hair, "I'll order some food,"

They started walking downstairs and Jane stopped. "John?"

"Yeah?" he turned around, she big her slip.

"Jack's students," she began running her fingers on the wall above the stairs, "Did they survive?"

John clenched his fist. "They didn't. When it came down to it, I asked them to go to the front lines. Only Prangley and Rodriguez made it. Wait, shit I am not supposed to tell you this,"

"Why couldn't you save them?" she demanded, crossing her arms.

"Excuse me?"

"I was able to get all the kids from Grissom Academy out. I had them stay back relegated to support for the war,"

"That was your choice," John said, walking up the steps his voice rising in volume, "We needed them in the front. We needed them to stay there, it's where they belonged," John clenched his teeth, "Don't tell me how to run a war Shepard."

"I saved those kids for a purpose, to stay back and heal," she barked back surprising John at how loud her voice could get her eyes turned blue again, "Those kids saved lives and saved Turian civilians in the process. They helped a Krogan squad and lived to tell others about it. Not just two that whole school was saved. You risked their lives in the front line and lost them. You should've held them back. I know you didn't I know you had your reasons and it probably helped the war to have them in the front lines but was it worth it?"

John watched the blue dim away from her eyes and the twinkled green. Her passion was amazing to him. The way she felt about those kids about the war was a surprise. "You're right, I did it because it was what I thought was right. They gave their lives and many more lived because of it and we were able to take down more Husk that way that made their way through. They helped Jack live and because of that Jack lives."

"I-I know. Jack is still alive for me. I think, I am not sure who is still alive." she ran her hand through her hair blowing it out of her face.

"Jane, I know this is hard for you," he put his hand out to take hers. "But if I can say this. It is nice to know there is someone out there who understands the choices I made. Someone who gets what I chose is hard and someone who gets just-"

"All of this?" Jane took his hand for a moment, squeezing it before letting go, "Know what would happen if you had made another choice? What would have happened if you had decided to do something else? if I had let Jack put those kids in the front line,"

"If I had let them stay behind..." John shook his head, "Come on Shepard we have a lot to talk about,"

* * *

Jane dipped her feet in the water her green eyes sparkled like the brightest gem from the morning light and the water. John watched her do simple things; a small laughed, a smirk when he said something stupid, the way she would try to be professional or not slack off but would anyway. It was like a species he never had seen before.

"So Virmire," he began grabbing a mouthful of pasta still left from hours before, "How did you pick Ashley?"

"Ashley?" Jane kicked her feet in the water, "No, I was able to save both of them,"

John began choking on his food, "W-What?" he took a drink of his water, pausing before asking again, "How the fuck did you do that?"

_Ashley, Kaiden and Shepard watched the bomb go off from the Normandy. Kaiden was bleeding from his leg and Shepard was having to use the window to keep herself up, but they had almost all lost their lives and would not miss this moment for any things. When the bomb finally went off Ashley stood on the deck on the Normandy throwing down her helmet and falling to her knees. Shepard had really done it._  
_"Thanks Commander. Things got pretty hot down there and you saved my life."_

_Kaiden leaned his back against the window "Both our lives. I don't know how you did it Commander I just hope the Alliance'll come up with a whole new medal for what you pulled off here..."_

_Ashley laughed, pulling herself up "If they don't court marshall you Shepard! You endangered our entire mission. Why didn't you just leave one of us behind?"_

_Shepard stood quietly staring out into the empty space. The planet was too far away to see the explosion but it played over in her mind. Shepard took her helmet off her eyes flickered blue as she looked at her comrades "No one gets left behind. Not while I'm in charge."_

_Kaiden smiled, "I don't think either one of us could have pulled this off," he said, putting his hand on Shepard's shoulder, "Anyone else had done what you had just done well, I'd say they got lucky."_

_Ashley smiled punching Kaiden in the arm, "Kaidan's right. Nobody else could make a stunt like that work. But anyone else in charge and someone gets left behind. Or the mission fails."_

Jane shrugged, "It was not easy at all but I found a way that involved me almost killing everyone and the Normandy in the process. I made a choice that involved us being seconds away from the bomb taking us all down, but was able to get them both."

John laughed, "Holy shit," he shook his head, "I thought I was ruthless,"

"I was not ruthless," Jane protested, "I merely risked everything to save everyone. No One Gets Left Behind might as well be my catch phrase,"

"You are so, interesting." John said with a soft smile looking at the sky turn from the blackest night to a light purple.

Jane was not use to having this time this peace in her life. Her world was still in danger but here she felt new she felt like she had really died and this is where she went into some sort of purgatory. A place where someone understood her a place where she could go to rest until her days came to an end. Jane knew she could not stay here she knew she needed to go home what if time was moving without her? Who was leading everyone in fixing the galaxy? Who would take charge? The council is not able and yes, she had brought everyone together for war but what about after? She was not trying to say she was a big part of fixing everything but she didn't like thinking it was happening without her. John was someone she had never been around. Sure, she had been with brutes and guys very full of themselves, but he always had a reason for it for who he was. He had a smile that gave his face lines like he had stories to tell. John had a scar on his face, she knew so well and eyes the changed that only she could see. Everything he had felt was something she did too, and she had gone so long searching for someone to understand her and finally it was right here. Was it so bad she didn't want to let it go?

So they watched the sun rise outside talking by the water. It had been almost twelve hours they had done nothing but share their stories. The choices that they made and how it affected them. John had never had someone he could be this open with. Kaiden was his best friend and he would give his life for him, but he could never tell him how hard Virmire was. As close as he was to Liara he could never tell her how easy it felt to kill her mother. With Miranda he could never speak to her what it was like to lose two years of his life, to lose all he had believed in to follow the Illusive Man. Those were things he had kept locked up inside of himself things he had never truly let go but also could never forget. The choice he had made were the things that kept him from ever sleeping and to finally have someone. Someone that could nod in agreement with someone who went through it all and knew the demons that existed inside of him. For once John Shepard did not feel alone in this galaxy.

* * *

Authors Note: Tally Ho!  
Thank you everyone who has been supporting this story and keeping up with it. Make sure you are following it because there are many more chapters in the works! I am sorry it does take me some time to put out a chapter, but I do work full-time blah blah eight other excuses for why I can post more. Anyways, I always admit I am no genius writer. I make many mistakes and it happens because this is something I do for fun and I believe I am no good at it, but those of you giving me constant support thank you so much.

Also, I want to explain that in the PC version of Mass Effect if you go through the Game Files there are ones of Shepard talk to both Shepard and Ashley after Virmire. At one point Bioware was going to make it so you could save both. Also, I am trying to keep the John Shepards world very secret for now because honestly none of really know what happens after ME3 and I do not want to be someone who says 'this happened' we all like to dream about what our Shepard does and I do want to say my way is right so that is why none of Shepards world has really been told yet. The point of this is to see a world with a Shepard who would do all she could to save every life and leave no one behind. She is our Superman. Whereas there is a world where our Shepard is ruthless and takes any means. So he is like our Batman or something like that

Anyways, if you have any questions, please feel free to PM me!

Till then, thank you all again!


	4. Chapter 3: Dig a Little Deeper

Jane had woken up screaming. The nightmares were something she had gotten used to. The Collector base, a pile of husk trying to kill her, watching people she knew died, and just overall amount of stressful reliving. Jane shot up covered in sweat; she looked over at the time. 2 AM it blinked at her. She never knew if she should fall back asleep because she never knew what would happen. Would her nightmare continue or for once could she sleep for more than three hours. The light in her room turned on and John stood at the door, holding a handgun shirtless and in black pajama pants.

"Are you okay?" he asked, looking around the room for an intruder.

"Nightmares," Jane pushed her hair out of her face, "You normally sleep with a gun?"

"Yes." John looked at her as if she was crazy putting the gun on the bedside table as he sat on the bed.

Jane tucked the covers around her lower body, "I am not uh... Decent John," she admitted.

"Why?" John gave her curious lose and a sly grin as he put a finger under the blanket trying to lift it.

"Don't even." Jane said. She smacked his hand away; John laughed watching her rub her head as if she had a migraine. Jane looked like hell right now, but that was something he understood. Waking up screaming was something you never stop doing after the things they had both seen. Jane moved over to the left side of the bed giving John room next to her. John leaned his back against the bed getting over the covers. Normally John would never really do any of this; is normally it was easy to get into bed with a woman, but with Jane he was comfortable with her so fast and easily that he didn't have to think about it.

"Inviting me into your bed already?" John said jokingly.

"You can take your handgun back upstairs you know," She raised an eyebrow, "Tell me something John."

"What do you want to know?" he replied.

"Tell me a story. A good story that doesn't end or involve Geth or reapers." Jane tucked herself under her blankets. "Tell me about your string of lovers Lothario,"

"Now why would you ever want to hear a story like that?" John asked, running his hand over his shaved head. "Alright, sit back and let me tell you a story..."

John told Jane of his night with Liara before Illos. How he had fallen so deeply and incredibly for her in a moment, he did not even see it happen. John wanted to not only save his race, but he wanted to save her. Protect her from everything. Liara T'Soni never really needed saving though she was more than capable of saving herself. John never stopped trying though to be there for her. The day the Normandy went down and John went back to get Joker was hard for him. Liara had been not only his first serious relationship, but also someone he could confide in and be with emotionally and intuectsly. Liara had not been too happy about his dying and be gone for two years, but how could he blame her? Even when Liara had become the Shadow Broker he was worried at first about what that power could do to her and he sense that she too was wary of the choice. If anyone in the galaxy was to hold illegal information if should be Liara.

Johns time, though with Cerberus had made him more bloodthirsty and even more anxious to kill the Reapers with his bare hands. The scar on his face that shined red was a reminder of all the murderous, vengeful choices he had made but he was proud of it. No easy way out, as he saw it if you want something you took us by force and that is just how it was. The scar reminded him of every time the council or goddamn Udina thought he was wrong and how right he was. That is why when Cerberus attacked the Citadel he didn't think twice before putting a bullet in that asshole's head.

However, with his death and resurrection came changes not only with himself, but also with who he was personally. Cerberus brought him back, but the way they handled business made him feel more alive. No one doubted his choice, minus everyone from Alliance; he was able to take down bad guys his way the way he knew with an iron fist. John had no Council to answer to, he had restrictions that he had even as Specrte, and there was Miranda by the Goddess then there was Miranda. That godforsaken bio woman gave him goosebumps from day one and he loved it. She was goddamn beautiful and she was wicked too. She wanted things the way he did; with a fire burning behind them and a gun in their hand. She drove him crazy because everything he wanted he could give him she brought him back, but she also believed in him. He wants to go gun down a base of the gangsters she was behind him with ammo. Miranda was beautiful and deadly and just so many things to him. John wanted to take down the Collectors in a blaze of glory and knew the one person at his side would always be hers. Miranda had her own issues, which everyone did, but for once, he didn't like, he HAD to help her it was what he wanted. The night with her before the Collector base god he wouldn't forget that night with her.

Then it happened so quickly; Miranda was in hiding and Liara back at his side. Everything in his mind about Liara he had pushed aside for Mirana resurfaced again and next thing he knew he was back in bed with her. Liara was at his side helping save everyone all over again being that hope for humanity, he needed to be reminded of. Then here came Miranda back in his life needed his help and of course he tripped over himself to help her. Then after the war, he found himself stuck all over again. Liara walked in on him and Miranda, Miranda found him with Liara, and both found him constantly with other nameless women. So they told him he had to make a choice, he needed to decide what he wanted more one of them or this life. It was a no brainer for him because he wasn't ready to be tied down yet. It wasn't that he wasn't happy with just Miranda or just Liara it was that honestly, he had somehow come to love both girls for all the little things about them. John was horribly afraid to fully let go of one and he knew how selfish he was fooling around with their hearts and minds but he didn't care he had a perfect limbo. John knew it was ending and that he needed to stop this horrible thing he was doing but he didn't want to. Those girls he gets at the bar, the drunken nights with his friends, all of it there was still much of it left. Was it so bad he didn't want to be tied down?

"Yes." Jane said, sitting up.

"No, it isn't." John pushed her face away with his hand.

"John Mirnda is going to live for literally the next 400 years. Liaras are probably also going to find someone way better than an ex-Spectre who is sleeping around." Jane protested.

"Details." he waved her off with his hand. Nevertheless, Jane sat in front of the solider she didn't care at this point that she was only wearing a tank top and black silk panties. John tried to ignore it as she was putting her arms on his shoulders her eyes flickering blue. "John these are feelings other peoples feeling you are playing with this is not fair to either of them. It is not a matter of just love it is who could see the rest of your life with. You cannot live in the fear of what may or may not be. You cannot live with the fear that someone will get hurt because of you. Right now John you are hurting not only two people, but yourself," Jane got on her knees next to him on the bed, putting her hand on her face, her eyes glowing a blue he knew so well, "You have been through so much John. So much. Don't you deserve to be happy? To spent probably the next hundred or so years with someone who can make you happy?" 'What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination, will affect everything. It will decide what will get you out of bed in the morning, what you do with your evenings, how you spend your weekends, what you read, whom you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude. Fall in Love, stay in love, and it will decide everything.' Love is the only thing stronger than fear."

"What is that from?" John asked.

"An old prayer book." Jane replied, removing her hand from his face. They sat in silence as he watched her eyes dim back to the green of a forest he knew only from the mirror. Jane had a slight smile that made her nose scrunched and he looked at all the little freckles on her face he found so perfect. Her hair was a tangled mess, but he didn't really see it. John took a hold of her shoulders and pushed her down on the bed. He kept a hand on her wrist watching her remaining calm. "John." Jane said slowly.

"Maybe for a minute this made sense. Maybe for just one moment, everything right now felt right. Maybe I am seeing you as more than what you really are in reality. You see, my heart may seem light, but in reality, it is heavy. Yet with you here..." he said, putting his hand under her chin tilting it towards him. " I have someone who really and I mean truly understands every little thing I have done. Someone who really gets my fears and understands everything I did and all my choices. Someone that I have just spent hours and days knowing, listening, and talking to. I have grown to devour every word from you to see you and feel like I am somewhere else when with you," John moved his face closer to hers. "You are trembling are you nervous?"

"I don't tremble." Jane responded. Even in the darkness, he could see her face flushed. However, she was not turning him down, she was not for once pushing him away. John took his hand from her chin running his fingers through her hair. Jane smelled like sweet honey and he lusted to smell it more. John took his other hand and wrapped it around her small waist.

"I think... I think it is time for bed," she said, rolling out from under him. John sighed, sitting up on the bed to leave, but she grabbed his wrist. "You don't have to go, I may need that handgun in case I wake up again. You know, or something like that."

Jane didn't see it, but John had a smirk on his face before he turned around getting under the covers silently. He didn't try to cuddle with her he knew they both weren't like that. It was the nightmares he was there to keep at bay that and his growing urges.

_Jane was sitting on a charcoal bench in a park. A park, she had never seen before a park that was covered in charcoal. The sky was orange filling with white smoke. Jane felt a slight pain in her arm, looking down it was bleeding again. The park went as far as the eyes could see the pen with rolling hills and walls that had no end. Jane felt no pain, though, she didn't really feel anything she was not scared the flames would get her, she was not afraid of the whispering sin the wind and smoke she heard, she was not afraid that the same little boy was suddenly sitting next to her. Jane looked over at the Catalyst was kicking his feet in the dirt smiling and humming. Behind him, the grass burned to the ground turned black and the dress slowly died in the fire._

_"Why am I here?" Jane asked. The small boy stopped humming._

_"You don't belong here Shepard." The Catalyst told her._

_"I don't." Jane tilted her head, pulling her hand away from her bleeding her watching her blood drip on her armor._

_"You are not supposed to be alive you were not supposed to destroy us," he replied, "You cannot keep running from all your fears. You cannot hide forever."_

_"I will find you." The voice of the Illusive Man boomed in her ears._

A light shined bright form the Catalyst and Jane woke up. Her clocked blinked 5:00 AM. Jane pulled her tank top off herself sticky from sweat and nightmares. Sweating she pulled herself out of the bed looking for the steps that would take her to her bathroom. Jane felt her bare feet around, but she couldn't find the steps. Her room was pitch black, but she knew it like the back of her hand. Her foot found a wall where it shouldn't be Jane put her hand out and followed the wall until she found a light. Turning it on she looked around; she wasn't in her quarters on the Normandy she was in the John Shepards house. How could she have forgotten so easily, where she was? She knew she was here, but she had not had nightmares in so long she thought she was back on her ship right before landing in London. Jane turned on her sink, splashing cold water on her face. The bathroom was large all pearl white tile it was almost blinding. Jane leaned against the while marble counter looking at her refelxtion. For once she didn't see the dark circles under her eyes that felt so permanet for once she looked like she had been actually sleeping full nights. Her hair was getting longer she had stopped caring about how short it was during her time grounded on Earth. Her freckles looked less pale on her skin making her look younger. It was as if she was looking at a version of herself she had never seen before, one that felt peace.

There was no peace anymore. Here in this world, there was but she knew she and abandoned everyone. Jane may not have chosen to leave, but she had chosen to not start finding a way home yet. Jane never abandoned her team never left a man behind, but she had to be dead and she knew it. There was no home for her just a constant drifting between this world and the memories she was clinging to. If she found a way home, would she even be alive?

Jane found her way in the dark back to her bed naked and tired. John however, had spent the entire time watching her. Her body moves in the dark her panties hung on her hips the way her back arched, her breast in her black bra the way her hair always fell behind her head moving in waves. John wanted nothing more than to reach out and grab her, have her as his own. Feel her move her body against his. What was happening to him? Where was this all coming from?

* * *

Jane Shepard was sitting in the Infirmary room her legs swinging off the examination table as John changed her bandages. Jane's arm was not so much in that writhing pain anymore, but felt like a soreness that was a constant. With all the clothes that Jack gave her that she could wear, it was mostly brought down to a couple pairs of jeans and black shirts that didn't show her breast or stomach. Today she was wearing black pants with holes in the knees, a very loose black tank top which she wore a black bandeau bra underneath. Jane was clutching the N7 hoodie in her hand it was the one thing she had worn consistently that she had stolen from John. He never seemed to mind, though, when she would try to offer it back, he would tell her about how since they share the same DNA they should share the same clothes then makes a horrible joke about sharing shoes. She was able to get a pair of boots from Jack though thank the goddess.

"So tell me how did Kaiden die?" John asked, wrapping a new bandage around her arm. "I figure I can ask that since you made me spill my beans last night."

Jane just stared at the wall for a while waiting for him to finish. John was not sure if he had hit a nerve, but he assumed as much. Jane would try to ask many questions about Kaiden; what he was doing now, was he happy, how is girlfriend if he had one. Kaiden had been with Samantha Traynor for a couple months now and he honestly didn't understand the pair together. Samantha was bubbly and was gone for weeks at a time in our space with the Alliance, Kaiden spent most of his time either over at Shepards or working his desk job with the Alliance. He never understood why any of the others kept working; they had given enough to the galaxy there was no reason for them to have to work anymore really. But, Kaiden still did, but it made him happy which he didn't understand, but there were a lot of things about Kaiden he didn't get like his choice of women. John followed Jane out onto the couch in the living room by the fire; she went to the very corner of the couch thowing the N7 hoodie on herself before figuring out her words. John sat close to her putting his arm on the back of the couch waiting intently.

"Remember when we found the Cerberus synthetic Eva?" she asked. "Well, when she was trying to escape I was with Liara, Kaiden, and Ashley. Eva was too fast for us and James Vega had the idea that if he ran his shuttle into her she could stop. Eva took a hold of Kaiden and..." Jane stopped, her eyes filling with tears.

"Jane..." John tried comforting her, but wasn't too sure how so he just put his hand on her head like she was a child. Jane brows furrowed and she blinked away the tears.

"I rushed him to the Citadel Hospital but we weren't fast enough. Kaiden died three days later, but he wasn't supposed to die it should have been me it should have been Ashley," she said wiping her eyes on the sleeve of her hoodie. "Okay, I don't mean that, but I was not ready."

"Did you love him?" John asked slightly jealous.

Jane nodded. "The time before Illos, seeing him on Horizon he was so mad at me, but I held on for him, and before Mars..." she smiled thinking of a small moment they had shared together. How he had sent her that message after Horizon asking her to wait until he could figure it all out and she didn't. Jane hunted him down in the galaxy to tell him how she felt because she had never stopped loving him. Then those three days before his death, she never left the side of his bed. She had woken up to the sound of the machine no longer beeping and nurses pushing her out of the room.

"Would you like to see him?" John asked.

" I don't know. I know he is not my Kaiden, but his face alone... I just would need the closure, but I can't ask him for that."

"Kaiden won't mind." John ruffled her hair. His ear perked a little at the sound of his phone ringing. "I'll be right back," John honestly didn't want her to see Kaiden all the reasons she would snatch onto him instead of himself. Why was this even a thought he did what he could to push it back?

"Okay" Jane said, wiping her eyes, "But when you get back we have to talk about the fact that EDI is still using Evas body and how did that happen?" she called out to him.

John laughed going into his study on the bottom floor picking up his phone. "Hello?"

Immediately John had to pull, the phone away from his head music was blaring from the receiver. It made him think of the bars on Omega it was so loud.

"LOCO!" A voice screamed into the phone.

"Yes?" he asked calmly, knowing whom it was. James always called him either drunk or to go get drunk. It was only 5 PM.

"Loco man it is poker night," James slurred into the phone. John could hear Garrus and Grunt arguing in the background with Kaiden.

"That's the last Friday of every month," John reminded him

"Loco it IS the last Friday!" James pulled the phone away, "Kaiden you talk to him mans making no sense."

John looked at his calender on his datapad and sure enough, it was the last Friday. How could that be? The Anniversary was almost a month ago. Had John really been spending all this time in the house with Jane? To be honest, he had not noticed the time passing to him it had still felt hours after the party. Time for them as moved so slow together that everything else was passing by. But how could he not have seen this?

"Hey Shepard," Kaiden came onto the phone, "You haven't returned any of our messages."

"I know I have been a little preoccupied..." John said.

"Babysitting?" Kaiden joked.

"Something like that," John was watching Jane leaning her head into the room being nosey. She grinned as he waved her off, "Sorry I can't make it tonight."

"Are you alright?" Kaiden gave a warning tone.

"Yeah, I am, I promise mother, I will write you back. Keep the rest of the family in line," Shepard said, hanging up the phone. Kaiden chuckled a little putting the phone down.

"Is he coming?" Joker asked, taking the cigar from his mouth. Joker, Garrus, Grunt, James, and himself all sat around the poker table in the private party room of the Eternity Bar on Illium. The boys would meet one a month to catch up and get away from their own lives to spend time getting drunk and losing money.

"I believe he is preoccupied with his female self.

"I think he is shacking up with her. Probably having a bit off of the other," Joker said, causing everyone to groan.

"We get it you live in London now by the goddess," James laughed lighting another cigar.

"I will never understand human terms. How can you all live on the same planet and sound so different?" Garrus said, throwing his cards down, "I fold." Everyone else threw their cards down as Grunt laughed obviously that he had won this round. Grunt took the pile of the chips from the middle of the able.

"Too easy humans," Grunt chuckled.

James motioned to a server whispering in the asaris ear. She smiled and politely backing away as they continued their game. Soon after, another round a couple Asari 'dancers' made their way to the men. James bit his lip patting his lap for a purple asari to sit on.

"Jack's met her," James said, shuffling the cards. "Says it was like tripping on a drug, looks like him too but hotter. Not as hot as you." he nodded to the Asari in his lap. The Asari giggled, running her hand on his chest.

"Ah yes, well if one Shepard is not enough," Garrus chuckled sipping on his drink while a Asari girl wrapped her arms around his neck, "Here Tali was worried Shepard died and had been rotting for weeks."

Joker shooed off an Asari girl they had never really been his type. Grunt laughed chugging down his drink. "It is funny humans."

"What is so funny Grunt?" Joker asked.

"How when we play cards. Vega calls for Asari woman to distract you when he has good cards."

* * *

_Kaiden,_

_Sorry I didn't take the time to write back to you have been a little busy. Hope is well and Samantha is not being a stuck up- well you know..._

_Have you heard from Liara at all? She does not seem to be answering my calls or messages. I know I missed poker and I am sorry I was very much looking forward to having Vega take all of the money and hearing, Garrus talk about his kids but I guess it will have to wait for another night. Was thinking of rescheduling our party? Was possibly wondering if you were up to helping me get it ready. Liara is not returning my messages (Not surprised). Think anyone else would be up for a party soon? On the other hand, is the great Commander Shepard asking too much of you to all get incredibly drunk with me. Just Kidding._

_I'm Not._

_- Shepard_

Kaiden just laughed at his screen. Shepard has been always one to get to the point and not miss a beat. Never taking a chance for you to give your opinion but even if you were able to, he would always have a rebuttal. It had been three weeks and no one had heard Shepard come up for air in those weeks. Everyone had just assumed he was dead, but Jack informed them all that he was indeed alive. Kaiden was at his home on Illium not too far off from Shepards home, though his home was not as extravagant as his, it was his to have. Kaiden Alenkos home had an entire wall that was a window that, like many of the homes adjacent to his, looked over the empty clouds the hovered through Illium. If Kaiden did want to look out his windows all he would really see was other people looking through their windows and all of them together watching clouds roll by in the sky. No cars, no ships, empty. Kaiden loved it though because it gave him the feeling that the space did. The emptiness gave him a hope to fill it with more that the empty space could really be filled with anything he desired. A blank canvas that he could imagine whatever he wanted. With the war over and passing on his Spectre title now he all the time to write, create, and feel the empty void out of his window.

Then there was, however, the whining noise in his ear...

"A stuck up what?" Samantha bellowed throwing the data pad against the wall. Samantha tired her hair back into a pony tail, her face turning a crimson red from anger, "That stuck up little-"

"Come on Samantha he was joking," Kaiden sat down on his couch, letting his head fall off the back of it. He may no longer be a Spectre, but he still sat in his Alliance desk and after a long day at work he honestly wanted to home and stare at his blank canvas. Too bad the noise was not as silent as he wanted.

"He is just such an ass sometimes," Samantha flopped onto the couch next to him while he unbuttoned his alliance shirt. "How can you stand that?"

"A guy thing I guess." Kaiden shrugged rubbing his fingers along her back. Kaiden truly liked Samantha he did. Once a relationship loses that new feeling that spark that always burns with new love it either burns brighter with time or dies slowly until it is nothing but the smoke. Over time, he was not feeling that spark the emotions you get with new love and now he honestly was not too sure what to do. Kaiden was at an age where he was past his point of settling down and he did not have too many options now. It was not that he was settling really, more that he just was realizing his window for marriage and kids was merely getting smaller and smaller. Samantha was great she still had so much more ahead of herself; she deserved more than he could offer. All Kaiden was now being an old solider and nothing more. He was never good at this though giving a girl 'The Talk' he just had hoped by now she would have felt the emptiness he was feeling but she hadn't. Samantha was still flying around the galaxy on ships, and did not see the empty stars the way he did.

"Kaiden? Are you listening?" Samantha waved her hand in front of his vision, "Did you hear me?"

"Er..." Kaiden blinked, letting his eyes focus on her angry expression, "Yes, sorry continue, please." Kaiden got up during out the sounds around him he picked up his datapads from the floor and began writing.

Samantha watched him get up and go to his datapad. Sometimes he was in his own little world and she got that, but lately it had been all the time. Samantha just stopped talking and just watched him. Kaiden always had a serious look on his face. The only time she really saw him break a smile was with Shepard as weird as it was she understood. Those two had been side by side since before the Geth had shown up and everything went to hell. Their friendship was the reason he did not stay on Earth or go home he followed him here. At first Samantha never really thought of Kaiden as more than just some person, but over time she started.

Seeing his sweet side and one thing led to another next thing, she knew they were here. Nevertheless, it wasn't working out and she knew that. Samantha still had a whole career of exploring the galaxy as a soldier, but Kadien was ready to stay grounded. It wasn't that she didn't like the couple of days she was able to visit it was just that it didn't click like it use to. Kaiden was not overjoyed as he use to be to see her and she had started feeling like all of this was becoming a chore. Kaiden was so sweet and she didn't want to hurt him, but was all this worth it?

"I leave tomorrow morning Kaiden," Samantha said, leaning her head on the armrest of the couch, "I'll be gone for a couple weeks."

"Mhm," Kaiden answered typing away.

"I don't know when I'll be able to visit again.," she said and Kaiden just nodded. Samantha sighed, watching him where did he go to his head. What did he see when he spent all his time looking out the window that she didn't?

* * *

John watched her from the Balcony. Clouds always rolled through and very rarely could they see the moons at night. All the lights in the house were off in the dead of night, but neither of them had ever had a good night sleep. Jane was sitting with her legs in the pool wearing a black small nightgown she was probably given by Jack as a joke.

It was 11 PM the next evening and John was sitting in his bed trying to watch the TV, but really wasn't paying attention. He was looking at his datapad that read 32 new messages he had not read. John sighed, realizing how much he had been ignoring with Jane here. Was that such a bad thing? He wanted to treasure her and keep her hidden in his home, his little doll a toy to play with. John didn't want to talk about her finding a way home; he didn't want to give her up. In addition, Jane wasn't exactly begging for a way home so it wasn't all him.

Liara had finally been writing him back, but it was mostly nagging about the fact a girl from a different time and space was living with him and if he didn't try to fix it the universe might face consequences blah blah blah. John mostly John was surprised she had finally written, but he had a feeling Kaiden might have had something to do with it and he would need to thank him later with expense imported wine. Liara's messages were filled with theories or ideas of what have might bring Jane back from a tear in space to maybe it was something he said to someone. There was no real way to know though Jane had shown up after she destroyed the Collector base and that was all she knew and all he knew.

"Hello John it has been long time."

John shot up out of his bed, grabbing the gun he kept in the top drawer. Leaning against the wall was the Illusive Man.

"You are dead. I know you're dead." John held the gun at the Illusive Man who opened up his black blazer to show the part of his chest John shot him so many years ago. The white shirt stained red from his blood and still had splatters of his blood on his neck. His skin still had the hole where the bullet had gone through.

"Calm down Shepard," The Illusive Man took a puff of his cigarette, "We need to talk,"


	5. Chapter 4: Said Too Much

The Illusive Man leaned over the balcony smoking a cigarette, watching downstairs by the pool. Jane skin was a milky pale white that shined in the night. From far away he could see the freckles on her body that made her look like used porcelain doll her long, dark chestnut hair whipped around her face in the light wind.

"Beautiful isnit?" he said as John came and joined him on the balcony his gun still in hand.

"It's alright," John, said has he tried not to linger looking at her. It was something that he already did enough of. "So why are you here?"

"Aren't you going to ask how can you see me?" The Illusive Man asked smoking his cigarette letting the ashes fall downstairs.

"No, I mean I figured once I start seeing the demons that haunt me in my nightmares I am either having the stroke I have been waiting for or I have finally officially lost it." John shrugged, "I stopped questioning these things a long time ago and have learned to just accept that fact. Also, you have blood dripping from your chest." John pointed to the puddle of blood forming below The Illusive Man.

"I am here because of her." The Illusive Man pointed to Jane downstairs.

"Her?" John tilted his head confused.

"Jane is not supposed to be here Shepard. She is not supposed to exist here," The Illusive Man puffed on his cigarette, "You two are causing a lot of problems for the universe."

"I know I know rip in time or something." John rolled his eyes shifting them back to Jane.

"Tell me something John," The Illusive Man leaned his back against the railing. "Why haven't you helped her find a way home?"

John was watching Jane moved her feet into the water, she moved so silently and peacefully. Jane was this symbol of himself that he saw someone strong who had been through a lot that he just connected with. The couple of weeks he had with her had made him feel something he had not felt since his first experience with Miranda or Liara. The problem was that Jane being here was becoming more and more of his life. It wasn't that he was trying to keep it her here it was that something had grabbed hold inside of him. The last day or so being around her felt hard to breathe, his stomach made him feel sick and every time he looked at her by the Goddess it was like he had never seen a human before in his life. Jane presence gave him the hope that he had been wanting that maybe there was a simple life after the Reapers and Collectors. Jane understood him in a way only she could be she had been through everything he had. She understood the pain of losing those close time him like Thane and Legion. Jane understood why he did not let the Council live and why she did, all those things only she could understand.

"So that's it." The Illusive Man smirked tossing the butt of his cigarette. "It is because you have developed feelings?"

"You can read my thoughts? John looked at him, puzzled at The Illusive Man lit up another cigarette.

"Shepard let me tell you something. You are in control. You are in control on if she goes back or not." he said blowing smoke in Johns face.

"I am?" John waved the smoke away.

"Shepard for once why give up something that so obviously feels right? Isn't that what you were fighting for? Life after this? Why can't it be her? Shepard you have everything you could ever want, everything you fought against me for, is right there," he nodded his head to Jane, "Would you really let all that go?"

"It isn't that simple." John said.

"Actually, it is. You're making a habit of losing the things you fight for."

John gripped the railing. As much as it really pissed him off to admit it The Illusive Man was right, he had taken the dark and beaten path his whole life always losing always fight. John always had what he wanted within grip, but never got a grasp on it. With Liara he just let her go to take hold of Miranda and this was the same situation. With Jane, he never stopped thinking about her since she showed up. At first he had just been curious about her and he was so fascinated with there being a whole other universe just like his but now, now what was this? John felt like a goddamn teenager and it was driving him crazy. Not only that, but John had not had sex since she had shown up and to be honest that was his personal record now, but sometimes he looked at her and he got this urge. The urge you get when you see a pretty girl at the bar, the urge, you get when a woman gives you a certain glance that says 'come with me,' He knew she wasn't doing it on purpose, but it was the way she laughed, she smiled, he wanted to grab her and do horrible things. It felt like puberty all over again and he was getting so pissed off with himself. John was feeling a war inside of himself rising that he couldn't understand. He knew he needed to help Jane get home, but every primal urge inside of him said 'One more day'.

Jane heard a slight noise and she looked up. John was leaning over his balcony just staring at her. Jane leaped up grabbing the N7 hoodie on the floor next to her throwing it on blushing. "Were you just watching me?" she called out to him. John didn't answer. Jane folded her arms waving her hand, "Hello? John?"

John didn't answer her he stayed staring at the same spot in the grass his lips barely moving. Jane went inside opening the door, she heard a noise.

RING RING

The home phone was ringing. She thought about answering it, but knew she shouldn't. If it was some Alliance thing or maybe even Hackett god forbid he think some floozy was answering his phone. Jane called for him, but he didn't answer. Curious, she made her way upstairs and into his bedroom. John was still standing in the same spot like he hadn't moved and she became concerned. Jane put her hand on his back, but he didn't move.

"John?"

"Look you-" John turned around, but no one was there. The Illusive Man was gone or probably back in the dark hole of John's nightmares. Jane was standing next to him wearing his N7 hoodie over her black nightgown she jumped back a little startled. John looked around to realize that they were the only ones there and there was no longer a puddle of blood on the floor. Jane was giving him a confused looked. "John, are you alright?"

"Er... is why?" John looked around his room expecting the Illusive Man to be somewhere hiding in his bedroom.

"John your phones have been ringing non stop, I called to you from downstairs, but you just looked..." somewhere else but she didn't want to say it. Jane just thought maybe he was lost in thought or in his own mind and she got that. She watched him as he looked around his room, "I am sorry, did you lose something?"

John looked around eyes glazed over as he finally sat down on his bed, "No just tired I guess," he sighed. "Did you need something?"

Jane sat next to him putting her hand on his shoulder with a look of concern. John looked at her at those goddamn green eyes and he just wanted to take a hold of her, but he couldn't not matter how great she looked in his hoodie or how she smelled.

"John I didn't know you smoked," Jane said out of nowhere.

"I don't." John laid back on the bed slowly closing his eyes, "Let the damn phone ring."

"Okay," Jane got up making her way to the door not before taking a second glance at the pile of cigarette butts sitting out on the balcony.

* * *

Jane couldn't take it anymore; she couldn't not take another minute of the noise. It was 11 AM the next afternoon and she had gotten out of the shower; grabbing a black towel around herself she quickly made haste to the kitchen. The phone rang until 1 am and began at 8 this morning and she could not take the ringing anymore. She had tried to drown it out with music, but John had still been asleep. Jane didn't want to wake him with music or blaring the TV, but the ringing was going to drive her madly insane. Her hair dripping wet she grabbed the phone.

"Hello?" she answered.

"For Christ sake finally," a voice called on the phone, "Wait who is this?"

"Who is this?" Jane asked, taking the phone into her room downstairs, she sat at the small computer desk in the corner of the room.

"Well, I called for Shepard and you're not Shepard. Unless this is the Female Shepard." the voice chuckled and it punched Jane in the stomach. Jane knew that laugh in her dreams she could recognize it over any of the noise she knew from memory. Jane felt sick like she would throw up right there.

"Kaiden?" she asked, gripping the phone.

"Yes, is this Jane?" Kaiden asked, his voice husky over the phone. He must have just woken up a while ago she knew that sound in his voice.

"Y-Yes." she replied, trying to not stutter.

"Hey, um how are you?" Kaiden asked not sounding too sure of himself.

"I am good! Good. I am well, I mean." Jane stuttered pushing her wet hair back. Kaiden uses to always be the shy one in their relationship. When she had first started hitting on him on the Normandy, he would stutter and always apologize for what he said. Kaiden was always confused when she would flirt because he thought it wrong at first and she found it adorable. This wasn't her Kaiden she tried to remind herself.

"Good I am glad. Say is Shepard there? I have been trying to get a hold of him." Kaiden asked.

"No. I mean he is, he is just asleep still."

"Sounds like him, I just figured he died under a pile of women." Kaiden said jokingly it made Jane laughed, "Can you let him know if he even wakes up I'll be coming by later today?"

"Yes, sure I can." Jane said.

"Great, I'll see you later today then." Kaiden chuckled.

"I am looking forward to it," Jane said, hanging up the phone. Jane sat in the chair a solid ten minutes staring at the phone before moving. Kaiden came by today, not her Kaiden, but still Kaiden. Jane was going to see him to touch him, to be near him. It was like a ghost had called for her asking for someone else and it was thrilling.

* * *

Kaiden hung up the phone smiling ear to ear. Jane sounded so excited to be able to see him and he knew she was trying to hide it on the phone. It was funny to think someone was nervous to meet him. That was something that never really happened. Then again the only reason he was going by was because Miranda had asked him to check up on John.

_"I swear if he had just been lazy in his house this couple weeks I will finish him. I mean has he even been trying to find a way to get rid of- I mean find a way home for her?" Miranda had barked at Kaiden on the phone a day earlier. "He can't just hide out and waste his life, not making a choice!"_

_"Choice for what?" Kaiden had asked Miranda but it was just followed by her scoffing._

_"Nothing forget it. Just make sure he isn't dead." Miranda grunted._

_"Can't you?" Kaiden asked._

_"I am dealing with some... Family problems with my sister." Miranda hung up the phone after that._

Kaiden was getting ready, he had just thrown on a black and gray crewman's style shirt and pants with boots. Kaiden actually a tad bit excited. The only person to really meet her was Jack and all she had to say was sexual things that he really didn't want to hear. Kaiden was not too sure what he had been to Jane on 'the other side' as he called it, but it was thrilling to try and find out. Maybe he was someone else. Someone different. Not that Kaiden wasn't happy with life, but lets be honest, everyone thinks everyone once in awhile 'what if'. Also, what would it hurt being a little curious? Shepard had always taught either by war or women get what you want or take it from the other guy. He knew most of the time Shepard was talking about loose women in the bars but he got it. When Shepard wanted something he could take it making it his. That is why Liara and Miranda were still lingering around in his life. He had a charm other men wish they could even remotely have but couldn't grasp. There was always something different about Shepard he could get what he wanted in one sentence flash his green eyes and it was in his lap.

Kaiden was about to head out his door when he saw his Datapad was flashing on the couch. Samanthas name came across the small screen, which meant she was either trying to call him or was leaving a message. Kaiden stopped for a moment, watching the screen flash. He really should answer it, he knew she was going to be calling around this time, but today he looked out the door. Her call could wait till later because to be honest, he may be doing this errand for Miranda but Kaiden was a little excited for something new in his life.

When Kaiden had finally made his way to Shepards door, he knocked twice before just letting himself in. Kaiden looked around, he was expecting the place to be trashed with garbage or leftover takeout things that he normally saw in Shepards place. For once it was really clean like someone had robbed it of filth and men stench he was used to. The air smelled fresher like linens and the ground shined in a way he didn't know they could. It was like its other parallel universe where a guy didn't live in his own filth.

'Kaiden." a voice called out coming from the hallway of the Infirmary. Kaiden didn't remember getting a good look at Jane last time he was there, but right now he got a pretty good look. Jane was wearing a black sleeveless tank top he could see her arm still bandaged from her injuries. She wore pants that were obvious Jacks as there were skintight with holes in the knees and she wore a pair of boots. Her hair was long and straight like she had spent a long time on it her bangs almost over her eyes that were bright like Johns but in a way that just called him. She had the biggest smile on her face blushing slightly makes her brown freckles a little brighter on her pale skin.

"H-Hello," Kaiden stuttered a little, but he didn't know why. "It's nice to meet you." Kaiden put his hand out for her to shake it, but Jane just kind of staring at it for a moment. Kaiden started feeling like an idiot, but slowly Jane lifted her hand out taking his she shook it. Jane looked so puzzled at his hand like she had never seen it before and it started to weird him out a little.

"Sorry." she said, taking her hand back, "It's just a little... Weird."

"No, it is fine take your time I mean I can go find She-"

"No!" Jane interrupted blushing, "I mean I just. I just don't know I am so sorry for this I am being an airhead right now. I promise I am not a stupider Shepard."

Kaiden laughed, making his way through the house to the kitchen. He grabbed a water form the fridge as Jane sat at the bar on the island in the middle of the kitchen just watching him. Kaiden smiled, putting the water down. "So, Where is Shepard?"

"Still asleep." Jane said running her fingers along the marble counter, "I knocked but he didn't answer. The TV is on but it was on all night."

Kaiden shook his head. He knew better than to wake a sleeping beast. John would kick his ass if he woke him up even if it was 1 in the afternoon.

"Well, I guess I have some time to kill before he gets up, whenever that is." Kaiden took his water over to the couch by the fireplace. Jane followed like a puppy and after he sat down, she sat next to him trying to not get too close.

"You don't want to come back later?" Jane asked, tucking one of her legs under herself.

"Only if you want me to leave," Kaiden asked, but she shook her head. Kaiden watched her look so nervous and he could tell by the facial expressions she thought she was doing to herself that she was not used to be nervous around him or probably around anyone. Jane fought with her hand, but Kaiden took one of her hands in his. "You don't need to be nervous I won't bombard you with eighty questions."

"I know, but..." Jane blushed. "I don't mind the questions really. I mean, if you are curious I can tell you anything."

Kaiden let go of her hand, leaning back in the corner of the couch thinking hard about the what to ask. "Well, tell me a little about myself?"

* * *

_So Jane began to tell Kaiden a little about himself. At least she meant to only tell him a little about himself but it wasn't working out that way. She started blurting out everything about Kaiden. About how she had always worked with Kaiden closely and t she had felt they had a special friendship that was more than her just being Commander. Kaiden was struck and played by the book, but he had a sense of humor she always loved. Kaiden was a great asset to the team because he had such a good hold of his biotic powers and she could always trust him on her side. Jane told him of the time on Virmire and how she was able to save both him and Ashley and the odds of survival and how she was able to do. How it had been hard and almost everyone could have died, but she had found a way and that was the moment she knew Kaiden was something a little more. Jane went over the parts of a Kaidens past that she had known and his time in school his biotic powers, killing his teacher and the other gruesome details. She told him about the time she tried flirting his him and how nervous he would get and he wasn't sure what they had was right, but it made her want him just a little bit more. Jane told him embarrassingly of the night before Illos and the moment they shared together and all the times after. How she always wanted him near her, how they always finding reasons to end up in her bed. Then the attack on the Normandy happened and she did all she could get everyone off, she talked about the moment before she said goodbye to him to go find Joker and how that's when He told her he loved her and she loved him back._

_Then Cerberus happened and she did not see Kaiden until Horizon and she had never been so happy in her life to see Kaiden to be with him to know he was alive. Then it killed it when he was pissed she had been gone two years. No word, no notice that she was back and that was it. Kaiden was out of her life like that, but that was not enough for her, she couldn't give up that easily. Kaiden had messaged her About Horizon and he had hoped that after everything they could find each other again and maybe pick up after everything but that wasn't good enough for Jane she did not want to wait. Jane hunted him down in the galaxy, putting everything going on around her on hold until he was found. Finally, when she found him on an Alliance shuttle she started yelling at him how dare he get mad at her how dare he be pissed in front of his whole crew. Finally, after being embraced enough, he followed her to the Normandy to talk in private and once again up in Shepard's bed. That was it and Shepard kept in touch every day that she could and never stopped writing him or seeing him. There had been times the loneliness on the Normandy got to her, but she held hope of seeing him._

_Jane explained about the attack on Earth and finally, after all this time getting to see Kaiden and everything it made her feel and him going to Mars with her and Liara to stop Cerberus. Jane had never been happier to have him near her to be fighting by her side like old times. He told her how sorry he was for doubting her and never believing in her. But then it happened Kaidens demise. Once Eva had struck him, Shepard did everything she possibly could to get him to a hospital. After surgery, she had so little time with him, maybe only a house and they talked. Kaiden apologized, Shepard apologized and she explained everything she had ever felt for him. How happy he had made her even though he didn't trust her she never gave up fighting for him and she loved him no matter what happened. Then she lost him and it killed her. She had to force herself to pull herself together because everyone needed her, Earth, The Council, just everyone. So she never got to give him just yet and it killed her because some days she wanted to message him, let him know where she was and how she was doing hoping he could give her an update on his adventures at will. Her depression got pushed so far down inside her; she refused to believe he was really dead until she could grieve. Losing someone you love more than anything else hurt harder than anything she had ever felt. Kaiden was her rock the one thing she always could lean on and without it she had to learn to stand on her own and it was so hard without but he had to learn that one day she may have to let go._

_Then Jane ended up here and just the sight of him she knew she was dead. That she had finally died and was with him again. Then it hurt all over again realizing that this wasn't her Kaiden not that it was her fault she knew he couldn't control it, but it was hard to accept the fact there was a universe where he lived and she was not with him. Jane would never force him to live in her fantasy, but she sees him even sitting here talking with him was all she could ever ask for and finally could learn to let him go. Jane wasn't trying to bombard him with all this information she really meant only to tell him a little, but it all flooded out of her mouth and she just couldn't stop. _

* * *

When she had finished talking, she was short of breath, her face flushed. Kaiden was just sitting there, his head hanging off the back of the couch staring at the ceiling. Kaiden had felt like an emotional truck had hit him. A really bizarre and large emotional truck.

"I am so sorry Kaiden," Jane tried to explain putting her hand on his leg, "I didn't mean to throw all of that for you. It is just that you are important to me. Or the other you was. Again, sorry."

"I just need a moment," Kaiden said tiredly, "It's alright, I mean I understand it is a lot of pent up emotion..."

"That I just threw at you," Jane put her head in her hands embarrassed. Kaiden was feeling a lot of things right now, but the main thing he was feeling was that there was a whole other world where he had died. Where his life had just simply ended. Everything was the same in her universe for the most part, minus the falling in love, and it was bizarre to think that there is a version where he fought Eva and didn't survive. It was weird to think that there is a universe where Ashley survived and he just, well, didn't. That somewhere out there was a whole other life he was living. Was it better than the life he had now? Did he live it to the fullest he could? Here he was ten years after the Reapers and he gave up his life on a ship for what? A desk job and early retirement that came with a lot of money? Was it worth it? Would he be out there solving problems and helping people if he hadn't?

" I remember when you told me, 'When you look out and see something this beautiful… well, it really helps you understand what we're fighting to save.' and that is one of the things Kaiden I will never forget." Jane said lifting her head up.

Kaiden looked at her, those green eyes he was used to seeing on someone else, matched with a smile he had never seen before.

"Hey, you want to get out of here?"


	6. Chapter 5: Little Oriana

Miranda was tired of waiting, not only was she tired of waiting she was tired of waiting around for John. Miranda looked at her reflection in the elevator was it rose up 20 stories. She was flawless not to be full of herself. Her hair style was the same over the years, but she loved it, she wore a black and dark blue Alliance uniform styled like hers Cerberus one easy to move and easy to take down a guy. Miranda had a busy life now that she was working with the Alliance. She liked going to and from London with Joker and EDI. At first we were not too keen about the idea of running around on the Normandy any more life in space was always going to be apart of her. However, three years ago she realized her sister was getting older and she had not taken the chance to even get to know her so she finally said goodbye to her time on the Normandy. Since she started taking up Alliance work in Illium she had been able to become a part of her younger sisters life and it made her so happy being able to see her grow up. The downside was seeing far more than Shepard and it was causing her problems.

Miranda would always love Shepard, a part of her heart and her life would always be his but she was tired of sitting around waiting for his drunk self to get his life together. Yes, humans were living longer now, but she wasn't exactly human anymore and she knew her life would outlive his but did that mean he had to spend it alone? Couldn't they spend it together? Miranda was tactical person, an ice queen. The first time she and John were together when she invited him to meet her for something 'private' it was not a sudden turn of events she had been planning it mentally for a very long time. She thought about the pros and cons of being with John Shepard and everything that could come from it, he knew she had been other men and she was very aware of his other women in his life. But it happened; it was supposed to be once, just once. Once turned into twenty and twenty turned into ten years and here she was walking up to his front door making sure he was not dead.

Miranda knocked on the door. No answer. Miranda pushed her hair back knocking on the door again, no answer.

_'Of course he was not answering why waste time getting the door or answering messages or bothering to even message here," _Miranda thought_, "I mean I might as well be dead but would he go all this way to check up on her? No.'_

Pushing on the door she was not surprised to find that he had it was not sure who was more pathetic, the man she loved inside or her.

"John?" Miranda called to him, but no answer. She was surprised to see how clean the house was, the finger prints off the windows, the floor looked clean, obviously Shepard had died and was replaced with someone with a clean home. Miranda began to search her way though the house only to find a room cluttered with women's clothing most likely Jane's she had hoped. Finding her way up the stairs she paused in front of the Johns bedroom door

"Of course," she muttered, opening the door. There he was, John was sitting in bed, typing on his data pad shirtless in his black boxers. John looked up at Miranda and his face broke into a smile.

"Letting yourself in now?" John joked.

"I knocked and called for you," her cross her arms moving to the end of the bed looking at the TV. "Are you watching..."

"No." John lied, but it was obvious, there was an Asari woman, a human man and a human woman having sex on his TV. John quickly turned it off. John had not been able to sleep since ghost has started showing up. Not only that, but he had a lot of 'tension' he needed to relieve. Or at least distract him from Jane downstairs. He couldn't stop thinking about her and it had started to piss him off to no end. It was not that he was goofing around it was just The Illusive Man had been right, why give up another thing and lose it?

"I came to check up on you since you seem to not want to leave your house in over a month," Miranda said following John into his walk in closet. John grabbed a pair of black jeans and a blue shirt changing.

"I have been busy." John said, throwing his pants on.

"Yeah? Too busy to see anyone? Too busy to let anyone know you're still alive? Or at least call?" Miranda leaned against the door to the closet. John always did this, whatever he wanted. But so did Miranda.

"Jane has been here an-"

"See, 'been here' is the problem," Miranda interrupted. John threw his shirt on trying to walk past her but Miranda put both arms on the wall. "I am not upset with you Shepard just disappointed."

"Because I have been busy with someone else?" John kissed her cheek moving past her.

"John, are you done playing house? Because she needs to go home." Miranda followed John downstairs.

"I am, I am." John rolled his eyes, grabbing an orange juice from his fridge.

"No you aren't," Miranda took the carton from Johns hands, "You aren't worried you are going to destroy the universe? What if this causes a rip in time? This is not natural John."

Miranda gave John the carton of Orange Juice back, giving him a long stern look. John smiled, he always loved it when Miranda tried to be strict with him. John grabbed Miranda by the waist, kissing her as hard as he could. Miranda pushed him away.

"Stop trying to woo me over Shepard you know that always works," she kissed him smiling, "Stop trying to get me off subject." Miranda's pocket began to ring. Looking at her phone, she rolled her eyes, "I need to take this." Miranda headed out back.

"Hello?" Miranda answered her phone.

"Hey Miranda!" a voice shouted into the phone. Miranda smiled it was her younger sister Oriana.

"Oriana this is a surprise didn't I see you yesterday?" Miranda asked.

"Yes and I know we have plans tomorrow, but I was thinking about what you said about Vido and... well... I still think you're wrong."

Miranda body stiffened. She counted to five trying to get the anger inside of herself.

"Oriana you cannot be serious."

"Why?" Oriana shouted on the phone. "I am 24 now Miranda I am a adult. You cannot just command me to stop seeing someone!"

"I can when they are a danger to you!" Miranda shouted on the phone she was furious with her sister.

"Forget it Miranda you know I called in hopes that you could understand that I am happy with Vido, but apparently you can't just let me be happy. Stop setting such high expectations for me! I am not picky like you!" Oriana shouted and with that hung up the phone.

Miranda gripped her phone almost smashing it in her hand. Her sister was being such a child and she was tired of it. Miranda was just looking out for her, she knew what was best for her. Love was making her blind and it was making her stupid. A couple months ago Oriana introduced her new boyfriend to Miranda and she recognized him immediately; Vido Santiago, name after his father, the founder of the Blue Suns gang. Vido recognized Miranda immediately as well, there had been a couple times many years ago when he was just a teenager working in his father's gang that she had run-ins with him. The only thing was Oriana was aware of his past.

_"He has changed!" Oriana told Miranda as they waited in the Docking Bay in Illium for Vido ship to take off for 'business'._

_"He is a criminal Oriana can you not see that?" Miranda folded her arms putting her back against the glass._

_"He gave up his life of crime after the end of the war Miranda. He runs a delivery service now and he is a good man to me can't you see he makes me happy?" Oriana shouted causing some turians to glance in their direction. Oriana straightened her dress and pushed down her short bobbed cut brown hair, blushing._

_"Oriana, darling, I am happy that you are happy, but no one gives up once in a gang it is your family and for him it is literally his family." Miranda took her sisters hand in hers, "I don't want you getting hurt."_

_Oriana pulled her hand away, "I know what I am doing with my love life Miranda," Oriana spitted, "Unlike you I am not wasting my life waiting for a guy who doesn't give me a second glance."_

Her sister was right, at least she wasn't waiting around. But she was being stupid and careless. Miranda had been keeping tabs on Vido and finally something had come up.

**BANG CRASH**

Miranda looked up alarmed there was loud crashes coming from inside. Miranda rushed inside, pulling her handgun from her waist. Miranda pulled the sliding glass door open the couch had been pushed aside, the doors to each room were open with clothes all over the floor, and it looked like it had been robbed. But Miranda had only been gone a couple minutes. Moving slowly she heard noises coming from the Infirmary. John came running out wide-eyed, he looked at Miranda.

"Miranda she's gone!" he looked at her in horror.

"By the Goddess John you scared me." Miranda put her gun away.

"Miranda she is gone, she is missing!" John grabbed Miranda by the shoulders, "Jane is gone and I don't know where she is!"

"Calm down Shepard," Miranda said a little annoyed. "Did she go somewhere with Kaiden?"

"Kaiden?" John looked at her confused.

"Kaiden was here I asked him earlier to come check up on you... Didn't he?" she asked, puzzled.

"I have been in my room all day I didn't... I don't..." John put his hands on his head kicking the wall with his boot. "She can't go anywhere Miranda what sees she something? What if something happens?"

"She isn't defenseless John!" Miranda crossed her arms tiling her head, "i doubt that she could get injured taking the elevator I mean she is you."

John looked actually worried about her well being and Miranda had never seen him like this. John wasn't one to get so upset about someone missing he knew she was very capable of taking care of herself so why was he freaking out about it? John paced the hall, his eyes shifting like he was having a conversation in his head. He looked angry, worried, concerned, and all these things that were not John. Miranda put her hand on his shoulder and he looked up at her, forgetting that she was there. Miranda gave him a soft smile and he smiled back. It has always been her way when she didn't know what to say to let him know that she was there for him.

The front door opened and in came Jane and Kaiden laughing and smiling and Miranda watched the smile fade from Johns face fade and turn into a scowl. John walked up to Jane grabbing her arm and pulling her away from Kaiden talking in stern tones. Kaiden tried to get involved, but even Jane pushed him away getting in Johns face. Kaiden looked over at Miranda and shrugged, taking the bag from his hand and taking it to the kitchen. Miranda followed him as he took containers of food putting them away in the fridge.

"Shephard's pissed," Miranda said, looking through the containers. Some had raw meats, others had green vegetables. "That is what you get for taking his toy away."

"We just went to the store in the marketplace," Kaiden said, trying to ignore both Shepard shouting from the other room. "I told her I would cook for her..."

"Oh Kaiden you fool." Miranda chuckled.

"I know we aren't supposed to Miranda but..." Kaiden opened up a continued of small tomatoes looking out the window, "She is so... Special."

"Special?" Miranda asked, popping one of the tomatoes in her mouth.

"She knows me literally knows everything about me, She is funny and she is tough I mean shit she is Shepard it just so... Like having a Shepard that doesn't threaten a boot up your ass every ten minutes." Kaiden smiled putting the tomatoes away. "She is like Shepard, but still her own person, same life different stories it is amazing."

Miranda knew the look on Kaidens face, it was the look of infatuation. The same look her sister had with Vido, the same look she had with John. But Kaiden was being a stupid fool. He was getting involved with someone who should not even be here. Someone that was not technically a real person. Jane was technically not real, not a real life form. Her DNA scanned as Johns making her non-existent by scientific terms. Kaiden was being just a fool.

"How is Traynor?" Miranda reminded him casually about his girlfriend.

"HM? Oh. Samantha, she is great." Kaiden signed snapping back into reality. The shouting quieted down Miranda leaned over the counter. John was talking in hush tones with Jane not breaking eye contact with her. The way he spoke to her his movement with her he touched her elbow when speaking to her as if she was more fragile than porcelain. He looked at her with such a concern look. She was pretty, kind of if you're into freckles and eyes that sparkled like emeralds she guessed. Jane gave John a soft smile as he put his hand on her head they made their way into the kitchen.

"So you blindfolded her?" Was the first thing John said, standing behind Jane as she sat down at the island in the middle of the kitchen. Kaiden was pulling pans out from the drawers jumping up quickly.

"It wasn't like that Shepard." Kaiden threw his hands up to defend himself

"I didn't know you were kinky Kaiden," John raised an eyebrow "Maybe you should try it out on Samantha."

"Ha-ha." Kaiden threw a dishtowel at him. John smiled, looking over at Miranda, who seemed didn't amuse. Her phone went off again.

"Excuse me. I need to take this." Miranda looked at the name going across the screen of her phone.

"Go. I need to have some special words I would like to have with Kaiden about hijacking myself and causing a rip in time." Jon cracked his knuckle.

"I didn't cause a rip in time." Kaiden said.

"You caused me to rip apart my house. Same thing." John shrugged.

Miranda walked down and into the hallway, pushing open the door behind her in the Infirmary.

"Talk to me Jacob." Miranda said, sitting on the swivel chair, grabbing a pen and paper from the desk.

"Hey Miranda I found out that stuff you needed for Vido Santiago," Jacob said on the other line she could hear the faint sound of him typing "Looks like he is meeting a couple mercenaries at Afterlife tonight around 9 in two days i got a guy doing some work for me down there. Be careful, he takes one look at you and you won't be able to prove he is still working for the Blue Suns."

"Thanks Jacob, I just need to prove to Oriana that he is still a lowlife. I'll have to find a way to track him in Afterlife without getting caught. Just give me the details."

Miranda jotted down all the information Jacob gave her and hung up the phone.

"Knock Knock," Jane let herself into the Infirmary "I didn't mean to overhear..."

"Its fine come in Shepard." Words Miranda thought she would never say to anyone else but John it was still weird.

"How is Oriana?" Jane asked awkwardly sitting on the infirmary table. Miranda knew this was probably weird for her as well she was curious what her other self was like, but considering how Miranda was just made she was probably the same perfect biotic self.

"Well... Did you... Know her?" Miranda asked.

"Yes, well, sort of, I knew her though you. You two got close after I sort of pushed you to keep an open relationship with her back when you first met her." Jane rambled.

"When was that?" Miranda asked.

"Oh our first time to Illium." Jane said.

Miranda chuckled a little. John had not offered to help or suggest that she and Oriana get close till after they shot her father through a window. Before he told her with the stake of the Collector Base Suicide Mission it had not been such a good idea. Funny, she thought, on how things could be the same and yet so different. Miranda explained to Jane her issues with her sister, she was having at the moment and the possible lead that Vido was still with The Blue Suns. Jacob tracked him back to Omega and that he was taking the Blue Suns was taking a shipment through of illegal drugs. Vigo was going to be in Afterlife that evening as well meeting someone. Miranda needed a way to keep her sister safe to prove to her sister that this guy was a rat.

* * *

"So why didn't you just ask for help?" John said stuff his face with a steak. Miranda, John, Jane, and Kaiden were sitting around the ding room table with a map of Afterlife glowing over them as they ate their dinner. Kaiden had made steaks, baked potatoes, and a garden salad. Miranda was surprised he was such an amazing cook she had never had his cooking before. She could see what Samantha says with him, a guy to come home to who could be a little humbler than well... Miranda watched John down a beer, staring at the map intently.

"Because it is none of your business." Miranda said, sitting back straighten herself while gripping her knife. "I don't need your help Shepard."

Both Jane and John looked up at the sound of their name. Jane looked at John and smirked like they spoke their own language. John nodded at her then tilted his head going back to the map.

"Let us help," Jane said drinking her red wine. "Miranda this is your sister. If you don't find a way to get this guy what if it gets more serious? What if she decides to marry him?"

Miranda had never thought of that. That this puppy love, this infection her sister had with Vido. What if it didn't end? What if she didn't want to take it seriously. Down the line her sister could be in more serious trouble than she thought. If one day her sister did realize that Vido Santiago was up to his old tricks she could not get out of it. Vido would have ties to keep her with him her life would be her own prison. She would be stuck with a guy who could ruin her like. What if she got Stockholm syndrome and though all the deceiving, he did all this gang life was right?

"I wont let that happen." Miranda said downing her wine, "Fine. But how do you suggest we stop him?"

* * *

Authors Note:

Hello everyone, sorry that this is coming late, I have recently been in the hospital and am in the middle of recovery. I am doing what I can write and don't worry, this story will NOT guy on hiatus just may take a day or two longer to put out a chapter. Please keep reading and enjoy.


	7. Chapter 6: It's just Breakfast and Ghost

"I saw what you did." John whispered into Jane's ear while putting the blindfold over her eyes causing her skin to crawl. Jane dropped the plate she was cleaning back into the soapy water. Kaiden and Miranda had left for the night and would be coming back the next morning to try and draw out a plan. Jane had watched John and Miranda pour over the map of the Afterlife and the sub sections to the market underneath. Jane had been cleaning the dishes when John and snuck up behind her.

"What do you mean?" Jane said innocently. She could feel the warmth from the Johns chest behind her; she could smell the very faint scent of herbs and smoky liquor from him and lime from the dish soap. It felt like a smell of home. Her feet were bare on the cold, tied her hair up for dish duty she felt cold to his touch of his fingers on her shoulder.

"I saw your eyes," John whispered in her ear. "You played the 'younger sister card' to get her to agree to let us help." John took his hands off Jane tying the blindfold on her spinning her around.

"Miranda needs to realize she can ask for help and that it is okay." Jane explained. She felt dizzy from John spinning her. Finally, he stopped and she felt like she could fall over putting her hands out to feel something. She felt her knee bump into a hard surface. Cringing she put her hands out to feel the counter on the island in the middle of the kitchen.

"Cold," John joked. "So you like being blindfolded?"

"Oh, you know," Jane replied, moving slowly to the other side of the room to John's voice. "It has its dark and bright spots." John laughed and she could tell he had moved over to the dining room table. Jane moved to slowly put her foot out she could feel the tile turning into the rug in the dinning room. John was a funny guy to her he always found a way to make her laugh or turn a serious conversation into a joke. "So what do you think? About Vido?"

"I don't trust him." Johns voice replied. In the darkness of the blindfold she could tell that he had moved back through the kitchen. Slowly Jane found her way to the wall to the left, her her not taking her hand off it using it to guide her. Luckily she was not on the side that had the oven, the sink, or the stove at a clean counter she could guide her hand along. "I mean his father is the Founder of The Blue Suns. It doesn't sit right to suddenly leave a life of crime you were born into."

"Why don't you ask Zaeed for help?" Jane asked to find the light switch at the wall, meaning she had found her way into the open living room.

"Who?" Johns voice echoed off the walls.

"Zaeed, I mean he also formed The Blue Suns." Jane called out not moving waiting to get a clear idea of where John was in the house in her mind.

"I don't know a Zaeed and have never heard of one." John said. Jane could tell he had moved down the hall and she slowly put both hands moving on the wall trying not to hit the end table on the right wall that she knew was there.

"Zaeed? We helped him fight Santiago? Also killing him? Never knew he had a son, though." Jane said.

"Doesn't ring a bell. Guess some things are different after all. I have never met a Zaeed." John shouted from upstairs. "Also Cold."

"I think going upstairs is cheating," Jane remarked finally finding the Railing to the stairs on the back wall of the room. John had a strong voice, a strong voice of someone who was a leader. John was sweet, sometimes, but ever last night on the balcony had been quiet with her. The only time he had made eye contact was when he saw her eyes before telling Miranda that if she didn't let them help her with Oriana she would get Stockholm Syndrome. John kept himself at Miranda's side the rest of the night only to make sideways glances and her and Kaiden.

Kaiden. Jane smiled a little thinking of him

_"No, it is fine Jane," Kaiden had promised her holding the silk scarf in his hand. He had shuffled through a drawer in the guest room; Jane had been staying in before finding it. "I just blindfold you until we get to a place we know has not changed. Then it is all good to go. I mean, don't you want to get out?"_

_"I do, but..." Jane crossed her arms, leaning against the front door. "Shouldn't I leave a note? What if this causes a rift?"_

_"I don't think going with me to get food will cause a rift." Kaiden said, tying the blindfold around her eyes, "Trust me."_

_"All right Alenko but no funny business" Jane waved her finger at him as the room went dark._

It had been fun. Talking about his lives, his family sharing jokes she knew so well from her past. It pained her, though like she was cheating. Cheating her out of something. This was not her Kaiden this was not the boy she had fallen for but what if he could be at least something in her life? Kaiden, this Kaiden, was almost the same. Yes different in his own way, but she felt like she had died and found her way back to a piece of her that had died. Jane slowly made her way up the stairs, hitting her foot multiple times along the way. Then there was John not just a piece of her all of her. Sometimes there was this way that he had looked at her like he saw the inside of her saw who she was. Not just the Spectre the way the galaxy saw her as if she was more. John would linger and she didn't hate it, she didn't hate it at all. However, she is known know of, this was real. Jane was aware that this would all end that she was dead and none of this was real and even if it was it had to be limbo. She knew she could wake up any moment and be in Heaven, Hell, or half dead on the Citadel.

"I like to think of it as expanding the game." John said, taking Jane's hand pulling her up the last step then letting go quickly. Jane could hear his feet moving into his bedroom. Jane hit her foot on the door, walking in. Cursing under her breath, she put her hand out, but remembers there was nothing near the door. Jane walked blinding into the room into she fell into Johns bed.

"That counts as losing." John chuckled. Jane could feel the bed moving underneath her as John climbed into it. Slowly he untied the blindfold from her head. Jane took a moment, letting her eyes adjust to the dim florescent lights of the room; luckily the sun had gone down a while ago. John face was hovering over hers. He was doing that thing he did where his eyes moved rapidly over her. Jane never knew if he was trying to study her or just having his own conversation in his head.

"Your hair is growing out." Jane said, unsure of really what to say to him. She touched her fingers lightly with the tips of his hair. It was no longer clean-shaven slowly it was growing into a spiky fluffed mop on his head. It looked like the color of a brown highlighted in a blue and purple tint. Like a dark brown vanilla coffee. "I like it."

"Yes. Well. Hasn't had time to keep up with it." John gave her a stern look adverting his eyes.

"So what happens because I lost?" Jane asked, tilting her head, feeling the smooth strands of hair in-between her fingers. John watched her eyes until she broke contact looking away. John moved his face closer to her till she could smell him again the smell of wine and herbs. Jane could feel her heart thumping inside of her chest. She was not sure what was happening was he going to make a pass at her? Was that even, okay? What would she do? Let him? Why? Actually, why not? Jane felt dizzy her head, spinning her hands clamming up. She was not scared this feeling she had, she was excited.

Johns face changed, however. He no longer had that smirk on his face or the look of having a conversation with himself. Jane looked at John worried as he started out the window in horror. Turning over onto her stomach underneath him she looked out to see, nothing. The night was dark with only lights from houses in the corners.

"What is it John?" she asked, trying to see what he saw. Turning back to look at him, he was pale as a sheet. Jane shook his shoulder til finally John looked down.

"Sorry, I am not feeling well. Get out."

John flicked his fingers against Jane's head before pulling away. Jane confessed quietly got up and left the room.

* * *

John was sick, he was defiantly sick. His stomach felt like someone had lit it on fire and he was going to throw up. He put both hands against the door, locking it. Turning around, he looked at Ashley, sitting in the armchair in the corner of his closet under the reading lamp. She was wearing her mission uniform form when he first met her, white and pink. Ashley was chuckling re crossing her legs

"Just when things were getting good." Ashley said sitting back relaxed.

"What are you doing here?" Johns head was pounding he was nervous. The Illusive Man he could handle, nightmares he could handle, but Ashley was something he couldn't.

"Why so scared Shepard? You weren't one to shake in your boots?" Ashley asked, pulling her hair back into a bun. "I am here because you're fucking things up John."

"Yeah?" John sat down on the edge of his bed. "Are you guys like the ghost of Reapers past, other past, and shittier past?"

Ashley smiled, she had the same smile he used to always see and she looked like she had not aged in the past ten years or so since her death. She looked like the day she did on Virmire. The thought of Virmire made him sick, he never thought he would be facing her after everything.

"You mean after you let me die and chose Kaiden over me?" Ashley asked hearing his thoughts.

"Ashley I never meant. I mean. It is just that-" John stammered, but Ashley held her hand up.

"The past is the past Shepard I harbor nothing against you. You did what you had to in the mission. Stop holding it against you." Ashley got up moving silently into his closet looking through all his clothes feeling the clothes between her fingers. Could she even feel it? The textures, or the leather from his jackets. Could she feel any of this?

"Jane saved you both." John admitted to her watching her eyeing his wardrobe.

"Yes, well, another universe, I suppose." Ashley walked out of the closet and standing in front of John she crossed her arms over her chest. "You are being a fool by not helping her get home. You are being a selfish fool and this will come and bite you in the ass later. Stop it John before it gets worse."

"What are you going to do to me Ashley?" John got up shouting, "Haunt me? You Ashley already haunt me! I don't need to physically see you, to feel the remorse and regret of some of my choices! I don't have to physically see any of you to remember my choices, but thank you all for showing up and reminding me!" John picked up a scotch glass from his bedside and threw it against the wall. Turning around Ashley was gone and once again he was alone. Once again he was alone. John didn't like his ghost, he didn't regret his choices really or at least he did what he could never think about them enough to end up regretting them.

One took off shift shirt, feeling the sweat drip down his neck and onto his back. John threw his shirt on the ground and picked up the black cotton blindfold from his bed. He ran the soft material through his fingers thinking about Jane. Stupid and incredible Jane. The moonlight lit the room like daytime. Those nights he could not sleep because he thought about Virmire or could hear the screams from the Asari turned into monsters he would just drink himself into a small a coma, or call a woman over to keep him occupied. He had found a way each night to either take a pill or find a woman in some slum to take home instead of dealing with all of his thoughts in the post war. He knew finally taking time off meant that he could no longer find ways to reoccupy himself from his thoughts. John was now aware that he could deal with own mind, but he wasn't ready. He should have stayed a Spectre or taken Hacketts offer as his replacement. John still could though if he wanted to but could he really spend the next hundred or two years flying through space just to avoid his demons.

Probably.

Tomorrow he would apologize to Jane, but for now he just wanted to be drunk.

* * *

Morning came quicker than Jane had thought. For once she slept through the whole night, even if John throws things around upstairs before she fell asleep worried her she knew better than to get involved. Even if she knew John was upstairs with himself talking to nothing. Jane knew better than to be involved with that he would only get angry. It was 10 AM when Kaiden showed up at the door with a bag of groceries again.

Jane had made a large pot of coffee and was curled up in the bar chairs on the island in the kitchen watching Kaiden across from her making Canadian bacon and eggs. Her hair was a mess, but she was able to quickly throw on a little eyeliner and concealer to hide the bags under her eyes. She was wearing torn dark blue shorts, the black loose tank top with bandeau bra, and still Johns N7 hoodie she refused to part with. It was one thing that felt like hers even if it wasn't. Jane was looking over Vido Santiagos filed that Miranda had given them copies of the night before.

Kaidens phone kept buzzing till finally he picked it up looked at the name across the screen and turned it off. "So what is it like living with Shepard. Other Shepard." Kaiden asked.

"It has its ups and downs. We finally got on the same cycle of when to have nightmares and to not wake the other." Jane chuckled drinking her black coffee.

"Do you... Do you get them a lot?" Kaiden asked, trying not to pry. Jane just shrugged, trying to make it not seem like a big deal. It wasn't to her knowledge that Kaiden would want to hear about how her horrors of going onto the Citadel and findings multitudes of dead bodies swimming about her would please him.

"Oh, you know... Bad hair days thinking like that." Jane joked. A thumping came from upstairs and slowly John made his way into the kitchen. His eyes were red, his face green. John looked around his eyes landing on Kaiden watching him make Jane laugh. John coughed loudly as Jane and Kaiden looked up.

"Don't let me interrupt its only my house." John grabbed a mug from the cabinet pouring him a cup of black coffee.

"You look like hell." Kaiden said, handing him a plate of sausage and eggs. John pushed it away feeling sick at the sight of it. He sat down next to Jane taking some of the papers from her. He had thrown on the same sweaty shirt from last night over a pair of black pants. Kaiden and Jane exchanged a looked because they could both smell what was coming from John. "Shepard have you been drinking."

"Yes, actually thank you for noting." John drank his coffee reading his papers. Kaiden shrugged handing a plate of eggs to Jane. John took a pen from in front of Jane circling a name. "Captain Narom? His son maybe?"

"Might be. Looks like that is who he meeting." Jane took the paper back reading it over. "Fell into his dad's footsteps you think? Stealing cargo? He might have picked up something Santiago wants." John nodded in agreement filling his face with food. Between bites John started forming a plan and an idea,

The doorbell rang, but Miranda let herself in. She came into the kitchen plopping a duffle bag on the kitchen counter and putting her data pad in the middle of the table. "Morning everyone." she smiled. "What's new?"

John explained their plan. If Vido was meeting Narom to get illegal or stolen supplies and meeting him in Afterlife they would want to cut him off in the club. Miranda and Kaiden followed John to the table taking their notes and folders spreading them out. Miranda was marking through a file on Vido with an angry expression on her face. If they can follow either member since they still were not too sure what they were getting into they needed a way to have an eye on everything. John opened up the map of Afterlife in the middle of his dining room table showing an entrance through the way they could enter through the air ducts into the beams along the lighting of the bar.

"From there," John continued eating eggs moving his hand through the blueprint floating over the table. "We can walk along keep an eye out see if they go to the bottom floor, the slums, or is Airia is involved."

"Why can't we just ask Aria?" Jane asked, sipping on her coffee from the kitchen. John gave her a look his eyes wide, shaking his head to say 'no'. Miranda looked up and John pretended to swat a fly away.

"Uh, no I am sure she is busy." Kaiden butted in giving John a look. Kaiden knew that Aira T'Loak had been in Shepard's bed. It was something he had encountered on a trip to Omega with John a couple years back after they had done a job for Aria finding out one of her men was selling her information for money. John had made sexual jokes and she punched him in the stomach telling him that if he ever mentioned it again the next step in Omega would be his last. There was also the time Shepard got extremely drunk at the bar in the Citadel and Kaiden received an anonymous message to come pick him up only to find him passed out next to an angry look Arira T'Loak. Miranda just shrugged flipping through papers. John mouthed the words 'thank you' to Kaiden who just nodded his head quickly.

John went to the large painting behind the dining room and slid it to the right as it opened up to all of Shepards N7 and Spectre armor. John pulled out his N7 helmet, holding it closely in his hands. There were marks and dents from so many fights won it was looking at his soul a part of himself that was his life: fighting, killing, and war.

"So we have eyes in the sky what about on the Earth?" Kaiden asked.

Miranda jerked her head up breaking into a smile, "That is where Jane comes in."

Everyone looked over at Jane, who had a mouthful of eggs sticking out of her mouth. Slowly she pushed the eggs into her mouth gulping them down before talking. "I have my armor still I just have to pick up some of the pieces falling off and fix some holes, but I'll be good to go whenever you need me."

Miranda chuckled walking though the kitchen grabbing her duffle bag. She threw it on the counter in front of Jane unzipping it; she pulled out a black silk bustier. "I have other armor for you."

* * *

Hours later Joker used the butt of his Cane to knock on Shepard's door. "Shepard your Limo is waiting." he said jokingly. Joker was wearing his usual Alliance unforform adjusting his cap. Garrus standing next to him banged on the door again.

"Hey Joker, What did the Preacher say in church?" Garrus asked, Joker just shrugged. "The Lords is my Shepard."

Joker laughed hard knocking on the door with his Cane again. "Come on Shepard. Stop playing with yourself."

"Hah" Garrus laughed slapping Joker on the back, "Because he has a femshep." Joker and Garrus highfived.

Miranda opened the door and Joker saluted her muttering Captain. Miranda hated it because he did it everytime Miranda came on board the Normandy. Miranda knew she couldn't ever be Shepard, she could never really fill the spot he had on the galaxy but someone needed to lead the Normandy. She had replaced Shepard and since she decided to base her life in Illium, Joker still saluted her to piss her off. He may be stationed in the U.K now, but the Normandy was still his gal officially he and EDI were still taking down the galaxy together.

Garrus was now leading his people as their leader. It hard been hard for him at first and everyone saw it; building a life with Tali as she took a seat on her own peoples council while he tried to lead his. But now years later after everything they had been through it had been nice to see that Tali and Garrus had made their lives on Turian planet. Tali stepped down after the kids and now they got all the time they needed again. Garrus looked a little tired. Having kids was making seem older than he was and now his guys nights and extra time he took helping Joker with whatever madness Shepard would get him into felt like tiny vacations.

"No kids tonight?" Miranda asked letting them in. Garrus shook his head and Joker waved his arms in her face hobbling in.

"Hey! Shut up you can't say these things in front of the femshep!" Joker looked around, "Speaking of which where is the totty?"

Shepard came out of the guest room with an annoyed look on his face. He was wearing his N7 armor with his helmet in hand. Jane followed behind looking even more annoyed with a long black raincoat wearing a pair of black heels. Kaiden followed shirt wearing a black tuxedo.

Joker whistled, "Damn Kaiden FBI now?"

"Hardly." Kaiden smirked loosening his tie. Jane pushed her hair back and adjusted his tie. "I can fix it myself Jane."

"No you, can't you get restless and ruin it. Trust me, this isn't the first time I've done this and I know it won't be the last tonight." Jane winked and John just groaned turning to Miranda.

"I thought you said she can't leave the house?" John said.

"I thought you didn't care?" Miranda raised and eyebrow. She had changed into black and white jumpsuit from her Cerberus days as to not get too much attention looking like Alliance.

"Are you sure this will work?" he asked annoyed. John looked over at the Joker and Garrus, "Ah, its the A team of joksters now this will be fun." John smiled shaking Garrus hand. "Good to see you again turian."

"It'll work Shepard." Garrus answered for Miranda. "You got the best minds on it, your own."

"True." John grabbed a bag by the side of the couch and picked up his AK-47 from the coffee table, "Ready?"


	8. Chapter 7: Afterlife

"John as great as it is having you back here, can't you back the bloody hell off?" Joker asked a little annoyed. John was hovering over him as Joker was flying the Normandy.

"Sorry," John backed away standing in the cockpit. "Just keeping an eye on things."

"You mean me?" Jane said from EDI's regular seat next to Joker. "You won't let me look at the ship, you won't let me go anywhere on it, and so you are just going to hover over me?" Jane raised her eyebrow spinning the chair around.

"I just need to make sure he doesn't try anything," he pointed to Joker. Joker turned his chair around laughing. He nodded and Jane suggestively who winked back at him and both of them started chuckling. John could feel the steam coming out of his ears.

"John I am with EDI and you know that plus she is standing behind you are being as crazy as you are." Joker was right though. EDI was standing behind Joker in the doorway. Her face had not changed from the blank expression she usually had, however she had her arms folded tapping her fingers.

"Joker I am confused right now." EDI stated. "My sensors are ready that Commander John Shepard is in two places of the ship only feet from each other. My sensors read that he is sitting and also standing in front of me. How is this possible? Am I having a breakdown as you human's say?

" "Oh... right." John said. He had forgotten that Jane read in her DNA and apparently on the EDI monitor as himself. Considering in her world she is he and he is hers as well. EDI must be picking Jane up, as he and it must be causing her to see him in two areas. Poor EDI she must be confused at least she was not feeling what John was feeling anger, jealousy, stupid and horrible feelings. "EDI its too complicated for me try to tell that the person in the chair is a woman so yes, you are having a malfunction." John shook his head.

"What do I do about this Joker?" EDI asked, looking at him but Joker just shrugged.

"Why don't you try seeing if your malfunctions work through the whole ship." Joker joked. EDI nodded and left, leaving Joker just rolling his eyes. "You think she could understand my jokes."

"It was nice of you to let us use the Normandy even though it was not necessary. At All." Jane asked spinning her chair around ignoring John's presence.

"Yes, well. If Shepard does anything he does it big. Plus, since the War weave kind of just been using it to drive through and everything." Joker chuckled.

"No we haven't Joker don't fill her with lies." John retorted, but shrugged "But its true being on the crew that saved the whole world does get you a lot.

The Normandy was Jokers ship. All Joker really had to do was tell them there was a gang emergency and an Alliance hostage and that was really it. But John couldn't tell Jane that was the case that it was so easy. He had to make things seem hard at least to her. That these privileges only came because John pointed out to the human council and to Hackett and all in Alliance everything he had ever fought for against the Reapers. That they should be thanking him for all he did even if they never supported him. That is how John got his way but proving against all odds he could fight the Reapers and take down the Catalyst. That is how John got his early retirement and how Joker, Miranda, and the rest of them finally got what they deserved. A time for rest, a time to do what they want. No more being pushed into a corner with nowhere to go. It was their time finally and John was going to do what he wanted. Today it was getting Joker to grab Garrus and take the Normandy to Omega.

John didn't mind this trip he knew Miranda needed to help and if proving Vido was still scum and involved with the Blue Suns then that would prove it. John just wasn't comfortable with Jane being there. Miranda had her as bait dressed as a whore and he wasn't sure if she was doing to piss around with Jane or just make John pissed. Jane was sitting in the seat next to Joker chatting asking questions about the ship as if she knew as if this was her place. Jane talked in such tones with joker as if they had known each other for years. Jane had so quickly formed a connection with him and John was afraid. Afraid that he was losing his place with her and why would he care? His ideas should be how to get her home not how to get her near him.

"But why Femshep?" Jane asked playing with the tie on her coat.

"You're a female Shepard. Femshep." James Vega answered walking into the room. James was wearing a dark blue suit and tie with black tie smirking. "John were about to land you ready?"

John just grunted as Jane got up untied her coat and threw it in her chair. Jane's dress was phenomenal to her standards. The dress was all black, sleeveless and heart shaped top, the bottom in the front only went half way down her tight where the back went down to her ankles. The front had slits on each side that went up to her belly button, Underneath was black lace that went from the top of the slit to her hips. It was sheer and underneath you could slightly see the strings on her thong. The bustier Miranda gave her made her breast seem three times bigger which made them move all on their down. Jane was borrowing Miranda's black heels that slightly pinched her feet. She didn't t have perfect feet or breast like Miranda. Miranda's body had always been flawless where Jane felt like hers was boyish.

"Carajo que está caliente" James whistled slowly moving his eyes up and down Jane. "Hello there I am Vega. James Vega." James put his hand out and Jane shook it hard. John punched James in the arm and walked out.

"Damn what is his problem?" James asked and both Joker and Jane just shrugged.

"He is mad I look like a whore." Jane followed John out of the cockpit. "Lets go everybody."

Kaiden, James, John, Miranda, Garrus, and Jane all stood closely in the elevator waiting for it to take them down to Omega.

"ALRIGHT EVERYONE," Both Jane and John shouted turning to the team. Both of them exchanged a glance to each other.

"Oh right sorry," Jane said sheepishly walking back into the corner. This had felt so much like her team she forgot it wasn't. This wasn't her team at all.

"All right everyone," John started again giving Jane a look. Vido Santiago is our target. Were are still not too sure what his job is here but he is supposed to meeting with still current Blue Suns member Narom who we all know has been involved with many theft and ship hijacks. The plan is to get Jane in their with James and Kaiden. They will be staged as Jane's 'body guards.' as Jane tries to confide Narom and Santiago that she is a drug dealer and needs whatever they got. Garrus, Miranda, and I will be up in the railings Garrus keeping his sniper on Santiago just in case something happens. If he sees' either Miranda or I he will know something is up and bolt and we need to be prepared. Is everyone ready?"

The team nodded and James gave them thumbs up. "Alright everyone. Let's kick some ass."

Omega had changed that was for sure. For Jane it was not even like the same Omega. Aria T'Loak had completely taken the time after the war to run with an even heavier Iron grip. Everything was not so dark and so grimy it was cleaner, maybe eve brighter to Jane. You did not see peddlers like you did before but now more shops or kiosk selling things for you guns, brass knuckles, and every other fighting item. Omega had turned into an evil form of the citadel. More people were out not hiding in the shadows. Outside of Afterlife everyone began to clear out into their positions leaving Kaiden, James, and Jane, and John to walk in.

Instead of waiting for the line Jane walked right up to the Elcor guarding the door with James and Kaiden right on her heels.

"Annoyed, Excuse me human you must wait to get in like all the other humans." The Elcor said in his monotone voice.

"They are with me." John walked up putting his arm on Jane's shoulder, "I have hired company tonight." Jane knew John was saying that to only prove more that he thought she looked even more like a prostitute but she ignored it just smiling.

"Delighted. Commander Shepard it was been quite some time. Please enjoy your time here." The Elcor let them pass as everyone in line groaned heavily. John walked with Jane to the inside front lobby.

"Alright this is where I disappear before word gets to Aria that I am here." John squeezed Jane's arm. "Don't get killed or they will just consider it a dead hooker and that will be how you die."

"It is just for the mission you know." Jane raised an eyebrow.

"Mission my ass." John waved her off walking away into the darkness.

The inside of Afterlife had not changed much it still looked somewhat like a Asari brother but a lot busier than how it used to be. Before all you could fine was scum and villainy but now, there were young girls with their pink drinks, brute Alliance men with their scotch and uniforms, and Turian in their corners talking softly to asari women." Afterlife looked more like a social place.

This however, was only the first part of Afterlife. As the trio walked through the door located in the back of bar past a group of drunk human women with way too many piercings and tattoos, they made their way to the lower level. The level Jane knew Aria T'Loak was always sitting in the back with her flunkies. This part of Afterlife was still dark, covered in fog from machines and pink and red hue of lights. The music was too loud to hear yourself think and there were even more drunk Alliance, Turians, Asari and every other species. Jane pushed smog out of her face only to realize the smell was husky, and thick like a forest.

Cigarettes. The nicotine smelled of a faint licorice smell as it passed through her nose. Jane took a seat at the bar to the right of the entrance, she knew if she kept walking she would find herself to Arias little hideaway behind the dancers and bar scene but to her surprise she did not see Arias men standing guard where she usually sat. It was possible to her knowledge that maybe Aria had taken up other past times.

"Were going to take a walk around," Kaiden whispered his back to Jane's back. Jane casually waved off both James and Kaiden looking up if she focused long enough she could see the silhouette of Miranda walking across the top of the lips but only if you really focused or knew someone was up there.

A Turian bartender quickly made his way over to Jane. Jane ordered a burban on the rocks like she did normally. Without hesitation or running to other handful of people waiting for their drinks he took his time with her. The Turian was a dark exoshell that was almost brown with almost a blue hue. He had marks that looked like two human hands on his face. He was wearing casual black and white attire, as did all bartenders working under Aria. Jane had guessed Aria finally grew a little class. As she took a sip of her drink and the Turian had finished with everyone else drinks he leaned over the counter watching Jane's breast bounce as she shoot her leg up and down impatiently waiting for Kaiden or Vega.

"Damn, I got to say," the Turian was already making Jane another drink; "I don't usually give second thoughts to human girls but, damn." He swooned a little trying to catch Jane's eyes that sip her drink silently. "What's your name?"

"Jane." She replied.

"Sweet name for a not so sweet looking girl." The Turian passed the second drink to Jane and she left it sitting for a moment watching the precipitation on the side of the glass. Jane could hear John moaning from anger in her eyepiece and she smiled.

"I never said I was sweet." Jane replied raising an eyebrow taking a sip of her drink. The Turians mandible moved slightly getting excited "Ah so she speaks." The Turian said.

"What is a not so sweet lady like you doing in a place like this?" The Turian asked.

"_Ask about Santiago," Miranda buzzed in her ear. "We still have no Blue Suns in the area."_

"I am actually looking for someone," Jane crossed her legs the Turian eyes the slip that showed her hiding hipbone he grunted slightly adjusting the front of her suit. "Vido? Santiago? The second obviously."

The Turian scoffed, "That trash? Why? You involved with him?"

"I would like to be, not sensually of course." Jane took a sip of her drink feeling the warm alcohol course through her body. "Business related."

"Look, I don't know what business you have with the Blue Suns but they're as crooked as they come." The Turian warned her trying to keep his eyes off of her legs.

"Protection and… other things. That is what I need them for." Jane looked over quickly to see Kaiden nodding his head over to where Aria T'Loak usually sat with her gang. "It was nice chatting but I must be off now." Jane ran her ringers through the Turians mandibles before strutting off with her drink not even paying. The Turian didn't seem to mind however as he quickly made his way to the back to make a call.

"_Did you get that?" _Jane's voiced echoed in the earpiece.

"He had a Blue Suns tattoo peaking out from his collar. He is probably letting someone know you are here." John replied pacing on the railing watching Jane like a hawk as she met up with Kaiden.

"_I have had no Blue Suns signing. Usually those guys are covered in Blue and White." _James came into the channel. Miranda and John watched James come from the dancers floor making his way over to Jane and Kaiden. "_I got a Turian over here though looking mighty jumpy at the sound of me mention the Blue Suns."_

"Possibly a scout." Miranda added in walking farther down the railing back towards the bar.

"_Still no visuals on Either Santiago or Narom down here in the where house area that goes into the civilian territory and the market." _Garrus chimed in. "_I got a Two Blue Suns scouts however coming in with about a handful medium sized crates. None opened yet but no- Wait. I got a Visual."_

John stopped pacing his eyes meeting Miranda's as both of them waiting for a response. John hoped that it wasn't Vido Santiago. He knew that it would help Miranda feel better that this was all fake, that he was a good guy now. However if Miranda's gut was saying otherwise then he knew better then to not trust her gut. Miranda tapped her fingers on the railing watching the Asari women dance for all the men hoping that all of this wouldn't lead to a life of this for her little sister.

"_It is Narom. I got a visual on Narom leaving the shuttle they are unloading the crates from." _Garrus said, "_Looks like he talking to a Volus and is headed into the club. Possibly for Femshep."_

"_Stop calling me that,"_ Jane demanded over the channel, _"Although I guess it is better than James calling me Lola."_

"I _happen to love that name thank you."_ James barked over the channel.

"Focus. Please." Miranda demanded rolling her eyes, " I should have hired children."

Everyone laughed and Miranda broke into a small smile. John always like it when she smiled it was never something fake but always as genuine as her. Miranda very rarely showed her true colors but when she did they were not as dark and bruiting as she gave off. She was sweet even when he got passed how kinky she was in bed. Miranda calculated everything which mean she probably calculated how immature they were all being. To be honest now that saving the galaxy was not riding on their backs it was good to laugh. Laughing made not only John but also Miranda and the rest of the gang feel like all they had done they could finally do something simple like take a joke and laugh.

Miranda pulled out her earpiece and motioned for John to do the same. "I never got to properly thank you Shepard." Miranda called out over the booming techno music watching the red, pink, and yellow flashing lights bounce off of John's rugged face.

"No need. You know you can ask anything of me." John told her and it was the truth. Miranda could ask him for help and he would always be there. Very rarely did she open up and when she did he did not once want to miss the chance to be there when she was naked, metaphorically and not.

"John, I need to be honest. I need to tell you something." Miranda started but trailed off when she looked over to the right side of the railing against the wall where they had broken in a service door to get to the light railings.

"What the fuck are you doing up here Shepard." Aria T'Loak was standing at the small entrance door Miranda and John had taken to get to the light railings. A Turian and a Vorcha both guns ready followed aria.

"Fuck." John cleaned his throat opening his arms wide to hug Aria "Aria, it has been so-" Aria didn't wait for the punch line instead however she punched John in the stomach. Miranda causally waltzed her way over to Aria.

"Excuse Shepard he is being himself tonight," Miranda held her hand out to Aria, "Aria T'Loak I presume someone else who had undobutly fallen for Shepard's horrible charm. Welcome to the club: Miranda Lawson."

"Of Cerberus." Aria did not shake Miranda's hand but rather stared at it. "What the fuck are you shit heads doing up here. Especially you ass hole." Aria kicked John in the side that coughed holding his stomach on his knees in pain. Aria was wearing black steel-toed boots with black pants, and her signature white jacket. Popping the collar up Aria gave another look to Miranda. "You seem like a civil person compared to this shit. I am going to give you about 30 seconds to explain yourselves."

"John?" Kaiden called into his earpiece but no response. "Anyone?"

"_Kaiden I am still here look Narom is coming your way." _Garrus called into his mic in a slight panic. "_Get ready."_

Sure enough out of the entrance to the Market out came Narom he was the splitting image of his father but much younger. Narom looked about his late twenties his hair buzzed but obviously black and he had a dark five o'clock shadow. Narom was wearing all dark blue civilian clothes which meant he was most likely been thieving around doing god knows that. On the back of his right ear was a large Blue suns tattoo. He spent only moments looking around but when his eyes caught onto Jane he moved quickly. Both Kaiden and James moved quickly in front of her as she causally sat down in a dark booth behind her sipping her drink that had become half filled with melted ice. Narom stopped looking at both men and it was mostly the size of James that had stopped him.

"Can I help you?" James asked putting his hand out in front of Narom. Narom stopped looking up at him.

"I have business with her. She has business with the Blue Suns." Narom said in a scratchy voice possibly from years of smoking.

"You are mistaken I have business with Vido Santiago." Jane said turning her back to Narom.

"Oh Yeah? Says who?" Narom crossed his arms looking pissed.

"Says someone who needs some drugs moved." Jane made up her thought on the spot. Both James and Kaiden gave her a look of confusion quickly before drawing their attention back to Narom. Narom gave her a look quickly before laughing, "Why didn't you say so?"

"Let him join me." Jane said casually moving aside for him to sit down. James and Kaiden let him through and Jane waved her hand out. "Take five boys." Jane said slurring a little in her speech.

Kaiden and James exchanged a looked removing their sunglasses. "You sure boss?" Kaiden asked.

"On me." Jane winked then slammed her drink down. "Go." She said in a more demanding voice. Slowly James and Kaiden backed away making their way back toward the area to the sides where you could watch dancers. Jane pushed her hair back bouncing slightly in her chair she moved in closer she put her body facing Narom in the small booth his eyes enamored by how exposed her breast and legs were.

Aria was laughing. Not just laughing but laughing hysterically. His one nightstand had finally up from being kicked John. Miranda had explained her situation to Aria who instead of shooting them just laughed.

"I tell you Shepard you get involved in some of the dumbest shit. What made you think you can come into Omega and hide in my ceilings and I wouldn't know?" Aria nodded her head and both her bodyguards gave her some space the railing when in a large square around the club with service doors above all the doors below lining everything up. Miranda had explained that her sister had gotten involved with some 'Turian' in the Blue Suns and she had run off with him. She had received notice that she was here and was trying to keep an eye on her. If Aria knew they had Garrus in the other side of the walls with a sniper gun pointed at a gang of Blue Suns she would have them all shot down. Miranda was doing what she could to keep everything civil.

"Look sweetheart most likely your sister is going down a bad road. Just let her fuck up and come home when she is knocked up." Aria just shrugged. Aria turned her attention over to John. "Shepard I am going to give you twenty minutes to get the fuck out of here. Either you go downstairs and buy a road on drinks that cost your pension for breaking down my service doors or I cut you balls off."

John give gave Aria thumbs up not wanting to be punched again. If he knew anything about women is that after you sleep with them then leave them they tend to get a little emotional.

"Just get the fuck out of here." Aria said annoyed.

John sighed rubbing the back of his head. Miranda scoffed "Of course you would have slept with Aria T'Loak." She said.

"How did you know?" John asked a little guilty.

"Shadow Broker?" Miranda said like it was obvious.

"Miranda…" John held out his hand for her to take and Miranda just started at it before walking past him and went through the hole in the wall. John followed with his tail between his legs. Putting the earpiece back in his ear John got the sudden sound of arguments.

"_It isn't a good idea." _Kaiden was arguing over the intercom

"_Well we can't really do much about it now." _Miranda said from climbing down the stairs.

"_What is going on?"_ John asked as he followed Miranda down the stairs through the smoke and fog in the background of the dance floor the music blaring behind him.

"_Where are you?" _Kaiden asked but as they hit the floor Kaiden gave a slight nod to him from the opposite side of the room.

Miranda and John backed up staying in the shadows of the stair well. Miranda pushed her body against the wall to stay as stealth as she could. Kaiden and James met up at the bar where the Turian had talked with Jane. John moved slowly form the stairs to the shadows of the dark hallway leading to the bathrooms. A group of asari women hanging outside the bathrooms smoking were taking him in most likely not knowing who he was but wanting to know more.

"Jane is alone with Narom she made us 'go away as so to say", James said coming out of the bathroom running into John. John gave him a questionable look and John just shrugged. "I had to take a leak Loco."

"_As much fun as this channel is,"_ Garrus cut in, "_I got eyes on Vido. The shipment is all drugs and guns. Literally. Looks like some Alliance made guns and a whole lot of white powder."_

"Cocaine." John shrugged. "Miranda get up there with Garrus don't get seen by Aria's men though or shell have our asses and I can't come back and party." John said winking at the three asari dancers giggling form across the hall.

"_My pleasure. Vido can get what he deserves."_ Miranda said with a little too much joy.

"I need eyes back on Jane" John nodded to James who immediately headed back into the dance floor. "Jane you get all that? Sell it. Get a way to the shipment or find a answer."

Narom had three straight whiskeys now within very little time, he had also moved very closely into Jane's personal space. Jane had tried talking shop with him to be honest he was more distracted by her than by what she had to say so in way she was doing her job by keeping him busy. On the other hand she could not give him to give out much information.

"Yes, I see so you also work with the Blue Suns, what's a guy like you doing in a place like this?" Jane said sultry slowly drinking her water giving up on alcohol for the night.

"Yep, _hic _so why would you want to see Santiago for? You know he _hic_ is not as important as I am," Narom slurred his hand moving slowly up Jane's leg. Jane laughed it off taking his hand off her leg moving it to the table.

"Really I thought Santiago ran the Blue Suns now, does he not?" Jane asked.

"Oh he _hic _is. But I move everything! That is what you need right." Narom was moving his mouth into her neck. "What is a beautiful women like you being involved in such criminal acts? _Hic_ Lemme guess, family affairs?"

"Yes, well I am need of some guns. A lot actually. My group is having a gathering and let just say in our type of work you cannot be too careful." Jane moved closer to the edge of the booth as Narom put both arms on each side pinning her in.

"You don't say! Listen_ HIC_ I am actually moving some equipment right now. Maybe we can set a price tonight since Vido is only here to make sure they guys aint stealing his dope. Damn fool thinks this shit is his game. I move _hic_ everything he just pushes papers. He could never get a dame like you though." Narom stood up almost falling over the table. "How much you looking to spend."

"Couple million." Jane said. Narom snickered he tilted Jane's head up kissing her hard and pulled away. Jane blushed gripping her fist trying to not punch Narom in the face.

"Alright. Let me just check in one something. Tell your goons to meet me down in the exit before the markets. Vido should be down there." Narom staggered off towards the bathroom. "Ill be back for you baby." He shouted slurring. The moment Narom was out of site Jane tapped into their channel in her earpiece. "Get that?"

"_Got it. Vido is already down here. What is the plan Shepard?" _Miranda asked as she made her way next to Garrus in the railings. Vido was on the ground having his Blue Suns Turian members open up each crate. Two Blue Suns members were guarding each door.

"_The whole point that we prove that Vido is crooked right?" _John asked as he floated his way through the bar. John made a codded hand motion at James who nodded knowing what he wanted he slowly followed _Narom into the bathroom._

"_Yes but…what do I tell Oriana? 'The man you love is still a drug dealer pushing illegal things and delivering illegal guns with no proof," _Miranda asked.

"_Well we could technically arrest them still."_ Kaiden said, "_Miranda you are Alliance as am I. If you want to we could turn him in."_

"_It is your call Miranda. But not matter what it is were taking these shit heads down." _John laughed.

Miranda thought for a moment taking a good look at Vido. He looked smug laughing with a cigar in his mouth. Like he owned Omega. Omega was not his. And Oriana was not his either. The very few conversations she had with him she had always been skeptical. "_No we take him down. If they think Jane is going to purchase both James and Kaiden need to get down there. Stall them while I call for back up. John they are going to need you. Jane keep Narom busy for the time being."_

"_I hope it is soon. Narom has got fast fingers."_ Jane chuckled.

"_WHAT?!"_ John shouted into the intercom causing Miranda and everyone else to pull the earpieces from their ears.

Kaiden pulled the earpiece from his ear and saw James walking out from the men restroom. Kaiden gave James a questionable look as he also pulled the earpiece out. Kaiden tried asking James what happened but it was too loud. James just shrugged making the hand motions of punching someone. Kaiden assumed that meant he followed Narom into the bathroom and punched his lights out. James gave the thumbs up to Kaiden who followed him out the back exit pulling out their guns.

When they made their way down the stairs two Blue Suns mercs tried to stop them. "Sorry guys can't come down here. Was running a protection protocol."

"Oh see we are to be expected by Narom." Kaiden said causality.

"Well, Narom drunken ass hasn't been seen and He haven't checked in." The Turian Blues Sun said to the Human. "Last I saw he was with a prostitute in the bar."

"That is actually our boss." James said tapping his fingers on his belt. "Look we are here to help strike a deal can you just let us in?"

"Sorry," The Turian held up his hand. "Can't let you without Narom or your prostitute boss."

Kaiden and James quickly exchanged a looked before moving as quickly as they could. James took the right arm of the Turian pulling it forward he punched him in the face. Kaiden saw the Human Blue Sun merc aim his gun pointing it at James but before he could fire Kaiden shoved the merc against the wall taking the butt of his own gun and hitting the mercs helmet until the man crumbled to the ground. James pulled the gun from the Turian who was bleeding from the back of his head on the floor.

"Guess were getting the easy way. James said jokingly putting his earpiece back in, "_Miranda? Were going in."_

"_What about Shepard?"_ Miranda asked watching James and Kaiden move in.

"_I still don't have eyes on Narom. He might have gone ahead without me." _Jane said walking around the bar searching for her lost drunken date and a missing Shepard.

"_Relax guys I am here."_ John came on the channel.

"_Here where?"_ Both Miranda and Jane asked.

John was in Aria's usual hangout spot hiding in the shadows watching Jane. "Miranda this is your doing, this is your mission this is all your call. You don't need me to make the calls it is your sister. " John saw Aria T'Loak moving across the floor with a broken nosed Narom and slowly followed her through the crowd.

Miranda knew he was right. All these missions they had gone on it was do what Shepard says and get it done quick and easy with as many bullets. Miranda sisters love life was not the only thing as risk it was her future. Getting mixed up with A Blue Suns could be a serious problem. Miranda did this, she asked help for this, to make sure that her sister was okay that she was safe from harm. Taking down a whole illegal shipment was a plus of the mission.

"Garrus stay up here and keep a bullet on Vido. You will only pull the trigger if I say so and no other time. Not even what Shepard wants? Either Shepard's." Miranda made her way down into the area below making her way behind James and Kaiden.

"Like I said," James was trying to explain, "We were asked to be here." Miranda came up behind James pushing her way past him. Vido took off his helmet he had a scar across his nose and his hair was newly shaven from the horrible puffy black curls she had seen hanging around her sister to a nice clean cut.

"The fuck are you doing here." Vido threw his helmet down. "Is something wrong with Oriana?"

"Oriana? You think I would come into the middle of a illegal drug bust if my sister had a cold?" Miranda scoffed pulling her gun out. "The act is up Vido Santiago. You lying little rat."

"Miranda…" Santiago moved slowly form around the crate in front of him filled with Alliance designed pistols. "Look give me a minute to explain…"

"The times explain is up." Miranda kept her gun on Vido as Kaiden and James moved to both sides keeping their guns on the Turians on either side of him. But that was not just it, there were mercs surrounding them from the shuttle. It was Seven to Three, Four if you counted Garrus hiding in the shadows.

"Miranda please." Santiago held his hands up, "Just give me a minute."

"What do you want us to do boss?" A Turian merc asked pointing his gun at Kaiden.

"What the fuck is going on." Aria came in with a trio of Vorcha behind her all wearing Blood Pack armor. The Vorcha moved in a semi-circle in front of her. Aria looked mad not just mad but pissed. Narom had blood dripping down his black glove his nose bent in half.

"You son of a bitch you sucker punched me in the bathroom!" Narom pointed at James who just shrugged. Narom pulled out his gun firing it at James but Kaiden was quick enough to get a Barrier around the trio. John came forward from behind Aria and Narom shoving Narom aside.

"Shepard you cunt I should have known." Aria crossed her arms jabbing her finger at him. "Anyone else want to get involved?" Aria shouted looking at the group of them fighting around a large cargo boxes. Suddenly the doors behind the Blue Suns leading from the market busted open and a group of masked Alliance Soldiers made their way busting in guns ready. "Are you fucking kidding me right now." Aria threw her hands up.

"Commander Santiago are you alright?" An Alliance solider asked keeping its gun on the Vorcha.

"Commander?" Miranda asked slowly bringing her gun down to her waist. Narom looked upset beyond belief. He was no longer red from his whiskey but red from the anger fusing from his ears. "You son of bitch you set us up! I am going to kill that cunt out there and I am coming for your head. You are a traitor. You father would have been disappointed to see his son turn into a yellow tailed coward!" Narom spit at Vido. "You little bitch!"

Vido grabbed his pistol from his pocket aiming it at Narom. "I am not working with someone else Narom. You let yourself slip getting lazy and spending your time getting drunk! If you were a real leader you could have seen this coming. I have a delay with Aria but I knew my cover could be blown if she knew I was here."

"You're damn right! We had a fucking deal Vido Santiago you stay off Omega and Blue Suns run under me!" Aria waved her hand and a Vorcha began firing at Santiago. Santiago quickly fucked behind the cargo motioning for his Alliance soldiers to fire back. Quickly they made cover behind the other freights taking down the Blue Suns around them as fast as they could. Aria T'Loak moved quickly behind a wall the Vorcha moving around her as she made a quickly escape. Garrus jumped down from the beams he was sitting on tucking and rolling into Kaiden barrier.

Shepard who had been hiding in the back to a Vorcha by surprise and quickly turned its head breaking his neck. Shepard gave Miranda a wink before going after another Vorcha. "Now what?" Garrus asked watching the bullets fly off the barrier.

"Keep Santiago safe. I need answers and if the rest of these guys are saving him that means we do it as well. "

"Well that is going to be hard consider he is chasing after Narom into the bar." Garrus said sarcastically shooting a Blue Sun. Two Turian Blue Sun mercs began chasing after Santiago into the club followed by a handful of Alliance falling from cords in the beams taking off after the others.

"What the hell is happening?" Shepard asked taking ahold of Miranda's hand rushing her down the hall after everyone else.

It had turned into a war in the club. It was so late and everyone had become so drink that they were not really aware of the gunfire and those that were just toasted to it. Some patrons took off running but it was gotten so loud and so dark that most people just danced around it. The music boomed and the red lights flashed. Shepard and Miranda looked around guns up and ready but still no sign of anyone. An Alliance solider was running by when Shepard grabbed him by the collar. The solider stopped and saluted him to which Shepard retuned the salute.

"C-Commander. I mean Mr. Shepard. I mean. Wow I never thought I could get to meet The Shepard." The Alliance solider was nervous and Miranda put her hand on his solder, "Miss Lawson wow I mean you too you guys are legends it is just that wow-"

"Yes I understand it hard being in my presence." A bullet flew by causing a crowd of patrons to run through them. Shepard and Miranda grabbed the Alliance Solider throwing them over the bar. Shepard reloaded his gun "Now solider I am going to need you to tell me what the hell is going on."

"I am sorry Commander Shepard." The Alliance solider took out his pistol looking over the bar shooting down a Blue Sun Turian. "I cannot give out that information."

It didn't help that the room they were in was round it made things a little more complicated. With a circle styled room there are no corners to get in all you could hide in the best places to find cover were behind couches or tables. There was so much chaos happening you could not tell what was happening. The Alliance solider took off running leaving both Shepard and Miranda on the floor watching a case full of liquor in front of them rattle. "Well, Now what?" Shepard asked trying to peak over watching a bullet fly over his head and shatter a bottle of liquor.

"None of this makes sense Shepard." Miranda ran her fingers through her hair.

Shepard shrugged, "Just get Vido, before we cause another gang blow out. Now if we can get Jane…" Johns voice trailed off and he realized Jane. Where was Jane?


	9. Chapter 8: The Man in the Fire

Jane had been sitting back in her both tapping her fingers waiting for Narom to return from the bathroom when Aria had busted back into the club with a pile of Blood Pack members. A Vorcha trailing behind her was taking down by a gunshot in the back of the head followed by a Turian from the Blue Suns. Aria had made a quick hand signal to the DJ Asari who nodded. The music become so loud Jane had so put her hands over her ears. The smoke puffed quicker out of the walls making almost impossible to see. The Lights flashed so quickly it became a strobe. Jane kicked her table over to take cover this was the time now that she was regretting not trying to shove a small pistol into the side of G-string. The sound of screams, laughter from drunk people, and shouting could barely be heard over the sound of the techno music throbbing her ears. This must be how Aria' T'Loak handles problems in her club by driving them slowly insane till they rather go home than fight. Where had Narom gone? It was too loud to hear her teammates anymore and she had lost their signal a while ago. She assumed however they were either caught or found but how Aria T'Loak was involved was beyond her understanding. An Alliance solider slid from the fog into the front of the table she was using as guard. As much as Jane hated to do this she took the gun from the right hand of the anonymous man who lost his life. It was time to help her team it was time to find John Shepard.

* * *

Miranda watched John leave without a word hoping over the bar leaving with the Alliance Solider. "John!" Miranda called to him but he took off the sound of her voice drained over the constants beats in the music. Miranda was frustrated that not only had this small plan had not gone to how she had planned it but it had scaled a proportion that was far too big. Miranda tried thinking but the noise and the lights made it hard for even to get a thought focused on. The solider waved his hand in front of her face till she looked up. But it wasn't him it was Jacob. Her Jacob was waving in front of her. Miranda had to rub her eyes and let them focus to see the man next to the Alliance solider really was Jacob. "What are you doing here?" Miranda shouted. Jacob put his hand to his ear he made a gesture of his fingers walking, a wave, and then a fist. Miranda made a face at him and he just sighed. Searching around he found a pen behind a bar he wrote on Miranda's hand.

"Hunt…Down….Vido…Don't…Die…" Miranda read it out loud chuckling a little. Of course that is what she needed to do. Of course it was. Miranda motioned to Jacob to follow her and she crept along to the side of the bar. Looking through the smoke she saw a Blood Back and a Blue sun on either side of entrance pillars shooting at each other. Within two shots she took down both members. Slowly she slide across climbing to the dance floor above ground quickly she scurried behind a thrown down couch which Garrus was using as cover taking down Blue Suns members. Jacob also shuffled behind aiming his fun to the right shooting down a Vorcha.

"Ah welcome," Garrus shouted putting his gown down to reload it. "Is this not the best background music you've ever had to a gang fight?" He joked.

"Have you seen Vido Santiago?" Jacob shouted brushing rubble off of his dark blue Alliance uniform much like his Cerberus one. Garrus gave a confused look to Miranda who just shrugged. Garrus pointed the butt of his sniper, "I saw Femshep headed that way followed by Vido then Shepard. Shepard knows not to kill him but not Jane, but can't see much through this smoke."

"If Shepard is on it I am not too worried. The best thing now is ground control. If Shepard has it covered I trust him. Plus going back in there is insane." Jacob said watching the chaos below. "We need to ground control before we can get to Shepard." Miranda nodded in agreement, "Lets go."

* * *

"Jane had taken off through the smoke to find better cover or at least find her teammates. Jane had found the sitting area of Aria T'Loak. Two Blue Suns members had taken the couches setting up a barricade. Shepard hide behind the lower parted seating area her back on the wall with the barricade behind her waiting for the gang member to pop their heads up.

Jane fired a shot to the ceiling causing one to pop his head up which she took him down quickly with a shot to the shoulder. Jane rushed quickly skidding to the front of the couch firing a second shot to the air. The Blue Sun looked over the couch gun ready. As fast as she could she grabbed the front of the gun pulling it out of his hands. Pulling the gun forward the Blue Sun gang member came with it. Jane took both hands off the gun and grabbed his arm throwing his body over hers watching him crumble down the stairs. Once she realized he wasn't moving Jane jumped over the couch. Making it over the couch Jane halted once she had both feet planted on the ground.

There stood Narom over Vido Santiago, Vido was against the wall his right arm and legs bleeding from two gun shot wounds. Vido had blood trialing from his mouth as Narom stood over him his hand pistol to his head until he saw Jane. Narom had a fury in his eyes like she had never seen before. Narom face was burning red his jaw bruised as he spit out blood. "You stupid little bitch," Narom took his gun off Vido wagging it in his head at Jane who had her gun aimed at his head

"This is one of the largest fucking shipments and of course it just so happens Vido shows up. I didn't know he could stoop to the level of hiring a whore."

"Narom I didn't hire a-" Vido tried to talk but screamed from the pain as Vido shot him in the lower part of his leg.

"Shut the fuck up Vido and save your energy I still need information from you." Narom spit again on Vido this time.

"See I don't think you understand what is happening here," he turned his attention to Jane. She stood her ground realizing now that one of her heels was broken and running was a small option. "See it turns out this bastard has been feeding our information to Alliance in return for no jail time and an easy commander job!" Narom kicked Vido in the side, "Why Vido? You sold out your brothers! Your men!"

"You…You do not know brotherhood…you..see…them as….workers….these..men…know….nothing but drugs and this. This is not what are fathers had before. You are running us to…the ground… You will…you will pay for your Insolence…" Vido grunted through his teeth.

"Insolence? We are gang members we don't even know what that means! This is exactly what they did! What they died for! We are scoundrels you stupid fool morels died long ago! " Narom spat at him.

Jane shot near Naroms feet causing him to jump. Narom laughed, "You give a whore a gun and she thinks she is something?" Narom shot the lights above Jane causing the glass to shatter around her. Jane jumped to the side looking up at the lights and in an instant Narom was on her. Narom grabbed Jane by her right wrist gripping it till her hand dropped the gun. Narom took a look at Jane's arm and could see signs of healing which mean signs of an old wound. He lifted his arm grabbing her upper arm and tightening his grip on her still healing scars. Jane screamed loudly as a pain shot through her body.

Jane lifted her left leg kicking Narom in the side. As Jane came to draw her leg back Narom grabbed it causing her to lose her balance. Narom dragged Jane to the couch being used as a barricade take both hands on Jane's wrist he forced her down and forced his body on top of her. "Now if you're a whore you'll be used like one." Narom put his lips to her neck sliding his hand up her thigh. Jane took her knee and shoved it into Narom stomach as he grabbed his stomach Jane shoved her body into his knocking him to the ground. Suddenly John jumped over the couch rushing over he grabbed Naroms arm and forcing Narom on his stomach he pulled his arm behind his back.

"Jane are you alright?" John asked grabbing his pistol from his side and putting it to Naroms head Jane could see the red burning in his eyes, "You son of a bitch did you touch her?"

"Yeah I touched her," Narom grunted, "Because I am going to fuck- AH!" Narom screamed as John put a bullet in both of his calves. John got on top of Narom beating his fist into Naroms face till teeth began falling to the ground.

* * *

Jane called his name but John couldn't hear her over his rage. The man had harmed her he had touched her and he was a criminal. To John nothing about him deserved to be alive. Nothing about him deserved to live. Finally John could feel two arms pulling him back looking up Jacob and Garrus had both taken each of his arms and were pulling him back. Miranda was at the side of Vido tending to his wounds the best she could with an Alliance Medic. Jane was slumped on the floor putting pressure to a cut on her injured arm. John watched her eyes as she gave him a worried look. The red rage left him and looking around he couldn't hear over the constant thumping of the music.

Jacob was shouting orders left and right, Miranda taking Vido under her arm and helping him to a couch. There was gunfire flying around them as Garrus took off running toward the direction of James and Kaiden had been earlier. They may have gotten Vido safe but they still had broken out into a gang war. Their job was done but clean up wasn't. A loud explosion fell from the back of the club, which only meant someone, had thrown a small bomb. A fire began to start down in the lower levels outside the entrance to the club. Jacob was kneeling in front of John shouting at him till John finally focused on Jacobs's mouth as his words well out of sync with the music. "Shepard! Do you hear me? We have to get control!"

John looked up at James and nodded silently. Narom was on the floor barley breathing as two Alliance soldiers dragged him to the wall forcing him to sit up. Miranda ran to Jacob lightly touching his arm she whispered something in his ear. Jacob nodded making hand signals and shouting at the Alliance soldiers. The medic put a mask to Vidos face slowly taking him down the stairs and the two other Alliance soldiers carelessly took Narom under their arms dragging him down as well taking off into the smoke. Jacob and took off running with Miranda. Jane stood up slowly taking her gun from the floor that was once Naroms.

"We need to get everyone out," Jane shouted but John waved his hands in disagreement.

"We need to kill the last of the Blood Pack! If these men survive they can easily escape go after Vido or worse or own team!" John shouted to her the room filling with black smoke. The music was coming to a slow end as the fire made its was to the DJ booth now the only sound was gunshots, shouting, screaming, and the crackling of fire. The large area felt smaller and smaller as it clung with black smoke. The Blue Suns and the Blood Pack didn't care. Fire was not going to stop their fight.

"John!" Jane said in a stern voice her eyes flashing blue. "We need to go." John signed nodding his head. He was pissed, he knew they fight was not over and casualties happened. But most of these men and women fighting were her comrades those who fought the Reaper War with him. Jane was right, they needed to go.

"I'll get the south side, opposite of the direction of James and Kaiden covering the way to the back alley out to the market." Jane wipes the blood off her hands on her dress pulling off her heels she stood barefoot grinning. "I should go."

Jane started over the barricade and down the stairs John followed beating her own the stairs he put his hand out stopping her. Looking to her bright green eyes that had haunted him in his home causing ghost to appear. He knew it could be minutes, hours, before everyone was out and the bullets stopped. She was going to run off and save the world like he would even if the world was their team in a dinky bar in Omega.

"Don't do something I would do!" John told her a pol from above falling a yard behind him bursting into the flames.

"I won't but John… do something I would do." Jane said smiling as they both watched the black smoke take over the red strobes still flashing. Jane was taller than John a few steps higher but it gave them equal eyesight. John grabbed Jane by the waist and pulled her in. Jane's face flushed heavily as she tried to stammer out words. John dropped his gun and wiping her hair away from her face he pulled her in closer Johns lips meeting hers. Jane didn't protest she felt a shock and awe as the bristles of his scruff rubbed against her face. Kissing Jane felt hot like fire and tasted of stale alcohol she had been drinking before. It something he had thought about and pushed away for so long. Pulling away John didn't wait to explain himself or try to give a reason quickly he looked into her eyes that shined through the foggy smoke. Quickly he kissed her on the cheek and picking up his gun he took off into the black smoke leaving Jane standing there.

* * *

Jane put her fingers to her lips, they were wet. John smelled of metals and bullets and firewood and it linger in her nose for a while. Jane knew she was blushing heavily but she didn't care, she was confused and wanted answers but she knew what she had done. She had not pushed him away. Pushing the thought back Jane took a grip of her gun and headed off opposite of John into the black smoke.  
The building was falling apart left and right and she could barely see anything tripping over bodies of unnamed men on the ground. Jane could hear gunshots left and right the sound of her team members shouting, Alliance giving orders, or the screech or Vorcha. Jane heard a shout she knew well it was the sound of James and Kaiden cursing. Over by the dance floor above the exit was Jacob getting his ass kicked but a human Blue Sun and a Blood Pack Vorcha. Jane rushed up the stairs as fast as she could.

The Vorcha was arm in arm battle with James as Kaiden fought the Blue Suns member beating his head against the wall. Jane came up only to find a Blue Sun Turian picking himself up from the ground. When the Turian saw her he took off towards her. Jane had to move fast to get to James bracing herself as the Turian ran full speed she gripped her fist charging back which was easier without heels on. To her right a string of strobe lights shattered bursting into flames. When the Turian was only feet away Jane out her forearm in front of her body as if to shield her and create more an impact. The force threw the Turian backwards on the floor knocking his head so hard he didn't move. Jane put two bullets quickly through his stomach before rushing to James.

The Vorcha stopped as Jane put the end of her gun to his head. "Nice and easy back away." The Vorcha growled dropping James who fell with a large thud groaning. The Vorcha turned to Jane his teeth covered in blood he lunged for Jane who gladly met his attack. Rolling to the ground the Vorcas ran his long talons into her thigh as she let out a scream. The Vorcha scrambled for his gun but in seconds was on the floor dead as Jane put a bullet through his head. Kaiden made his way over his hands covered in blood from the Blue Suns member who body was hanging over the railing of the dance floor. Wiping the sweat off her head Jane coughed as the smoke started becoming too thick to breath in. Tearing a piece off the long part of the back of her dress she put it to James mouth that groaned holding his head.

"James can you walk?" She asked but he shook his head.

"I can just help me up." He said. Quickly Kaiden and Jane each put an arm under James helping him stand. Slowly the trio moved down the dance floor avoiding the burning rubble around them and made their way out the back entrance.

* * *

John was pacing as more Alliance team members showed up in ships in the docking bay of Omega. Jacob was tending to the wounded in his own ship as Miranda stayed by Vido side now that he was all bandaged up. Garrus was helping round up and arrest the members they had caught fleeing as firefighters made their way past them trying to save the club.

John watched down the entrance till he finally saw her, Jane came limping into the docking bay followed by James who was arm and arm with Kaiden. They slumped into the docking bay as medics rushed to their sides. John let out a sigh of relief as his eyes met Jane's who let in stranger put his hands all over her upper thigh. Never had John been so happy to see someone alive. John watched the smoke in the distance as possible Afterlife burned slowly to the ground.

* * *

"This is inexcusable!" Hackett said in the Conference Room of the ship to Jacob, Miranda, and John. "You burned down a entire building in the process of what was supposed to be a entirely secret mission.

"If I may," Jacob stepped forward, "It is neither Shepard's or Lawson's fault sir. They, well and I, were not aware of the situation. Lawson was worried of a family member getting too close to Vido and of course I did help give her the information of his whereabouts but it was not till after had I learned that Vido Santiago was working as a spy."

The blue vid of Hackett could not hide his frustration. Hackett ran his fingers through his thinning hair and put his cap back on. Adjusting his black eye patch over his left eye "It was a secret for a reason. For his safety. It was so we could easily get info out of him. I was not expecting you," Pointing to Jacob, "Would weasel it out of a Blue Sun. Also for you," Hackett pointed to Miranda and Jacob "To get your family involved and set a club on fire. We had this agreement with Aria T'Loak and now she is making threats to make a real gang war.

"What agreement?" John asked. Hackett took a long looked at John before speaking. "Well well well Shepard. You show up at the worst times. I thought you were done fighting crime? How come the only time we can find you is when it involves gangs."

"Guess I thinking of joining a gang if the Blood Packs will take me." John shrugged.

"Anyways," Hackett ignored him. "Vido Santiago agreed to give out the location of the current drug cartel that Narom was running, apparently he had also been stealing cargo from Alliance ships taking their guns re-selling them. For this information and more we in exchanged promised Vido Santiago a job and safety. Aria T'Loak in return would take over the Blue Suns in Omega keeping them in line and using them just as security and we would not intervene.

"Again I apologize but Vido is safe. Aria is safe. Narom is in custody. It was just done…the 'Shepard' way." Jacob said hesitantly. John gave him a look of somewhat insulted and Jacob just shrugged.

Hackett looked from one face to the other and let out a heavy sigh, "Shepard you will never cease to amaze me on how you and your team handle things. Even when you aren't in charge its like I am still cleaning up after you. Dismissed."

Miranda and Jacob turned their heels quickly getting out as fast as possible lucky to know they still had jobs. John however stays for a moment swinging on his heels. "Sir, May I ask something?"

"Of course Shepard. Speak candidly." Hackett said. John stood in silence. He wanted to ask if the medic had told them about Jane, how when he read her vitals she probably came up as him. He wanted to ask if they were going to take her away and study her. "Sir about the girl…."

"If this is about the prostitute with the cut leg her time comes out of your pocket," Hackett said laughing.

"Ah..Yes of course sir. Good day." John turned around heading to the door.

"Shepard!" Hackett called out. When John turned around Hackett was on his knees his uniform torn his leg bleeding. Blood was pouring from Hackett's eye socket where his eye patch once stood. He was injured and John ran to the vid looking around trying to see if he could figure out his whereabouts.

"Shepard…she needs…she needs to come home." Hackett said coughing out blood. "We cannot do this without her. I need her. Earth needs her." The vid cut out and John was left in the room with a soft humming of the machines of the Normandy.


	10. Chapter 8: Possibilities

"Here is to *hic* Commander Shepard!" James threw up his tall, and fifth, glass of pale ale beer. "To the both of you!" They were back on Illium on the bar Eternity celebrating their mission, mostly just still being alive. 

"So what happens now?" Kaiden asked sipping on a small glass of whiskey he had been babysitting most of the night. Shepard sat across from him taking his third shot of the best asari liquor money could buy, or the Alliance could buy in this case John pulled out his Omi-Tool sending out a message before looking up at Kaiden rolling his eyes, Jacob had offered to buy everyone their drinks for the night. Jacob was against the wall in the corner by the bar murmuring softly with Miranda catching up drinking his beer. Jacob made eye contact with Shepard who quickly looked away and into his drink watching the liquor move inside of the glass. "Well Alliance will have to pay for all the repairs on Omega, as a courtesy to Aria T'Loak," Jacob said sipping his drink, "As long as we do that and promise not to meddle, and tell Aria the truth instead of hiding what were doing, we should be okay. 

"What? The master of Omega didn't enjoy a little fire damage and an all-out gang war?" Garrus chuckled sipping on his Turian chiralic carbon. "Seems like this world was just getting dull luckily we always have Shepard, even two now, to keep things exciting." he waved his drink in both Shepard's direction who just smirked. John looked over at Jane who was finally backed into her all black pants, shirt, and N7 hoodie. Jan had been sitting quietly next to Kaiden nodding her head only slightly to whatever he was whispered to her. Jane had barely touched her beer but had been running her fingers on the glass watching the drink turn flat. 

"Why so glum Femshep?" Joker asked throwing his arm around Jane spilling his vodka everywhere. EDI grabbed Joker by the arm pulling him back as he tumbled backwards. "You should be happy! We saved the day, caused serious damaged, closed down a bar by starting a fire, pissed off probably everyone in Omega, caught a major Blue Suns member, and you know other stuff that is also just a great!" Joker laughed hugging EDIs cold mechanical body. 

Jane looked around at the faces around her slowly taking in each one. "It is just watching everyone fight like that.." Jane smiled clutching her drink, "I know you aren't my team. I know that you are merely just shadows of the people I know but looking around at each of you... Never once did I ever think I could see you all again. So even if I am dead in my world or if I pass on seeing each of you and fighting again by your sides. It was something I hope to not forget." Jane raised her drink looking over at John sitting next to her, "You have an amazing team John. You should be proud to have fought such friends, such family." John smiled back at Jane and looked around at the people at the bar. They would always be his family to them even if he didn't show it enough, even if they were dysfunctional and sometimes worlds away. 

Miranda raised her drink, "To family." Everyone raised their glasses and cheered taking a sip. At that moment Oriana came in through the door with a Vido whose arm was in a sling and using a crutch to get around. Miranda made her way over with Jacob her sister face filled with rage. Miranda half lifted her arms to hug her sister but knew that anger on her face; it was one she knew too well. Oriana put her hand on Vidos back who shook Jacobs hand with his good one. 

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Oriana hissed, "You couldn't let me be happy? You couldn't just TRUST me?" 

"Oriana please," Miranda held her hand up in defense, "I did it because I care. If I didn't..." Miranda looked away not sure of how to explain herself to her sister. Miranda knew how this looked: like she was overprotective, couldn't trust her, and didn't believe in her. Vido was the one who actually came to her rescue. "Oriana..." Vido said in a calm voice. "You sister did what was right. I was still working for the Blue Suns." he said as Oriana took a step back a look of shock on her face. 

"Excuse me?" she asked her voice shaking, "You lied to me?" 

"Oriana please. I had to. I had to do it to protect you. I could have blown everything by telling you. Alliance was watching me, Narom was watching me. I made a deal with Alliance that by turning in my own gang I get freedom. Also a job with Alliance, it means I get stability. It means I can finally give you more. Be more for you. Your sister, her friends, Alliance, did what they had to. I ended up like this because of Narom no one else is to blame." Vido shrugged gripping his cane. Oriana looked from Miranda to Vido holding her head.

"This is very confusing." she sighed. 

"Miranda came, hunted me down all the way to Omega just to make sure you weren't hanging around some bad boy." Vido said chuckling, "Her and her friends set fire to a whole building because she wanted to protect you. Not only that but they helped me. They took down Narom. They saved me." Vido said in a comforting tone putting his hand on her arm. 

"Oriana, your boyfriend here is a very brave man. Lying to Alliance and Aria T'Loak. You should be proud he fought a good fight." Jacob said. Oriana looked at Miranda and back at Vido. "I guess you right...come on Vido, you still have a lot to explain." Oriana patted Vido on the back before walking over to her sister and throwing her arms around her. "Thank you." 

"For what?" Miranda asked hugging her sister back. Pulling away she saw her younger sister smiling, happy. "I didn't trust you. I didn't believe you." 

"You were...willing...to go. To fight for me." Oriana took Vidos hand, "If you helped keep him alive then thank you." Vido squeezed Orianas hand before pulling it away. Vido scratched the back of his head before putting his hand out in front of Miranda, "Miranda I know this whole situation has been...weird...but I am hoping now that we can at least try and understand each other. I know I have not helped getting along but what with this whole double life and lying to Oriana has made me a little crazy. I hope we can get along, you know get along for Orianas sake." 

Miranda took Vidos hand and shook it. "Vido, as long as you make Oriana happy." Vido smiled at Miranda before returning his attention to Oriana. "Come on Oriana I still got a lot of healing and a lot of paperwork." Vido took Orianas hand and hobbled out of the bar. As Miranda watched her younger sister walk away John made his way forward watching the ice swirl around in his alcohol. "So you come to my door begging that your younger, somewhat hotter, sister is in danger. You drag us to Omega dressing my perfect female-self as a whore dangling her in front of gang sharks while you sit around on your ass not doing anything. Only to find out he is a good guy and single handedly burning down an entire bar by yourself." 

"Shut up John." Miranda rolled her eyes turning back to him, "And thank you." 

"All in a days work." John said sarcastically drinking his drink. John looked over eyeing Jacob, "Jacob." 

"John." Jacob answered flatly. The air around the trio got thin as Miranda watches both men shift awkwardly in their combat boots. "How was the divorce?" 

"It was the best Shepard want to see the pictures from the court room?" Jacob spattered. 

* * *

Jane watched John talking with Jacob on the opposite side of the room. Miranda looked like she was cringi9ng und her plastered smile, Jacob had his hands ready in a fist and Jane could see the red blazing from John's eyes which said enough. John looked happy, more of an evil smirk, but still happy as he drank his drink laughing. John looked over at Jane and made a small shrug as Jacob rolled his eyes jabbing a finger in Mirandas direction. 

"I see you are watching the Cerberus train crash and burn," Garrus said taking Johns seat on the other side of Jane at the bar. Kaiden looked over from his conversation with James, who was watching some Asari women dance and was already wandering off by himself. Kaiden put out his hand to stop him but just shrugged swerving his chair back to Garrus and Jane. 

"What happened between them?" Jane asked sipping her now warm drink. Miranda was rolling her eyes making a remark at John who just gave her the fakest look of shock that he could. John was obviously muttering under his breath and you could see the res burning in his ears from across the room. 

"It is a long and wonderful story," Garrus said waving his hand in the air to the Asari behind the bar, "Three more drinks over here please."

* * *

_So Garrus told the story of John, Jacob, and Miranda. Shortly after Cerberus and being taken on after two years of being gone John Shepard had started noticing what it was like when he became intimate with Miranda and how it affected Jacob. When they had become more public with their 'relations' as Shepard called it, Jacob became more abrupt, cold even. Jacob would hide out in his lab burying himself in his work whenever John or Miranda would come around. John never really thought much of it he assumed anyone would be jealous because Miranda was a great catch._

_Shortly after John had given Cerberus the huge middle finger, Miranda has disappeared taking off to save Oriana from her next danger. John had started seeing Liara again coming to her Shadow Broker base spending time with her. There had been a time right after Kaiden has been sent into the hospital from his injuries on Mars; John had invited Liara over to the apartment Anderson was letting him use. That was the first time that Miranda had caught John with Liara. Miranda was in the Citadel following a lead of her fathers and had stopped by to see John for the first time in what had been forever. Miranda had found John in bed with Liara. There was no yelling, there was no screaming, and Miranda did not throw anything. Simply, Miranda left the room without a word because at that moment she had realized this simple thing that they had was not so simple. Miranda had told John that this was a fling and nothing more so there really was no reason for her to be angry with him but the fact of the matter was, she was hurt. The Ice Queen had felt a stab inside of her she had not felt for so long. Miranda turned to the one person she knew she could turn to; Jacob. They had been involved in their early years at Cerberus and a piece of her would always arbor a place for him and the same for Jacob. Jacob gladly dropped everything to come to her side and he did. Making his way all the way to the Citadel to be by her side, comforting her, Jacob promised to make her happy to quit everything he was working on to be with her. He came to her room held her hands told her how she was better than the Shadow broker, reminded her how strong she was. Miranda never needed to hear these things but she always liked it when it came from Jacob because he would never lie to her. Jacob went into town at the Citadel trying to clear his head and decided he would drop everything and finally get what he wanted; Miranda._

_Miranda had been the one who 'got away' in some way to Jacob. He knew she always deserved someone who could be more than him, be more of a man for her. That wasn't John though. John was ruthless even more as they days went on, he was sarcastic, bloodthirsty, and a womanizer._

_Jacob had been too late however. By the time he made it Miranda at her room at the Citadel, John was already there; apologizing, begging, and coaxing her to understand. Miranda gave in because she loved John and even if he was seeing Liara, had feelings for Liara, loved Liara, she knew somewhere he loved her as well. That's when Jacob had finally lost it. When John showed up at Gelix and saved Jacobs's life that is when Jacob decided he would no longer owe John anything. Even if Jacob was now forming feelings for Dr. Cole Jacob finally gave John the punch in the face he deserved. It was after that, after John was only able to save a handle from the base, Jacob and John fought verbally and physically. John was now aware of Jacobs's feelings for Miranda and threw it in his face whenever he could how he was a better man and Jacob would do the same. Dr. Cole and Jacob married; divorced 3 years later and after everything John and Jacob still hated the sight of each other. Even when Jacob came back to Alliance he vowed to ever work with john again. Miranda and Jacob saw each other only from time to time but things were never the same. Miranda told Jacob they could never be more because over time she felt more and more for John and it had slowly killed Jacob inside. Jacob and John would never get along and Miranda would always be that string between them._

* * *

"It's been, how do you say, the most award and horrible thing to watch. Yet you can never really turn away from a hover car crash." Garrus said sipping his drink. "Word gets round easily but it became more obvious over the years. You should have seen the year Jacob ran into John in an Alliance Defense meeting." 

"Oh man," Kaiden slapped his knee bursting out into laughter, "John jumped over the table immediately when Jacob sat down. You should have seen Hackett's face. They had to be pulled off like children." 

"That is surprising," Jane said quietly watching Miranda grinding her teeth. "What about Liara? I have not heard or seen much of her."

"Liara became more, private." Kaiden sighed leaning back in his chair adjusting the collar of his Alliance civilian clothes. "I know I can't really tell you much but after the whole Miranda walking in Liara didn't come around as much, stayed in her Shadow Broker base came down every now and then see us or John." 

"Sad really," Garrus sighed looking homely into his drink, "She was one of my favorite. She didn't laugh at my jokes like Joker does but she could dance better than him." Garrus pointed to Joker dancing horribly against EDI as James walked back face red from being slapped by an angry purple asari. 

A glass shattered against the far wall. Everyone looked over to see Jacob storming out of the bar as John was giving him a gesture with his middle finger. "Nice John, really mature." Miranda shouted chasing after Jacob.

* * *

"Jacob wait!" Miranda called out to him following him out of the bar. Jacob punched the glass window across from the entrance from the bar. Jacob stood tense as Miranda put her hand on his shoulder. Turning around she could see the anger in his eyes, the frustration.

"I am sorry Jacob, really. What he said isn't true." Miranda said trying to coax Jacob into calming down. Jacob slowly released the tension in his body. Looking at Miranda he could see the sympathy in her eyes. Jacob backed away until his back was against the glass. Outside it was dark, middle of the night, the only lights were of those few hover cars out possibly picking up people from bars and taking them god knows where. Outside the club entrance it was quiet and dim. Any passersby simply ignore them too intoxicated and caught up in themselves. Jacob put his hand out in front of himself keeping Miranda at bay. 

"I know what he said isn't true." Jacob snapped at Miranda. "I know Cole didn't leave me because of you. I know she didn't leave because I wasn't 'enough' of a man. Thank you by the way for telling him about us and what I said when we split. I really appreciate the fact you literally told him everything it makes seeing him so much better." Jacob said clenching his jaw. He tried to ignore the look of Miranda's face, no longer sympathy, but hurt. 

"Jacob, you know my relationship with John..." Miranda tried to explain but Jacob just scoffed. "Do YOU even know Miranda? Are you even aware?" 

"It's complicated yes I am aware. Things were complicated with you too Jacob." Miranda replied. 

"Not like this. Miranda it has been years. Years of this. You let him walk all over you. You let him sleep with whatever he wants hoping he will stay." Jacob threw his hands in the air exhausted by her. "I helped you because it was your sister. Because it was you."

"I know Jacob and you stuck your neck out and I am grateful." Miranda said taking a step closer. "Please. He is drunk, he is an ass, and I know your divorce was hard. I know losing the baby was hard and no one thinks less of you. I am sorry." Miranda's voice softens as she inched closer putting her hand on Jacobs arm. It made the hair on the back of his neck stand on edge. Jacob like the way he knew how to comfort him, make him feels better. 

"So you never told him?" Jacob asked.

* * *

_"Does it hurt?" John had said earlier sipping his drink after the two of them had thrown slight insults. "Knowing you couldn't be enough for not only Miranda but your wife?"_

_"I don't know John, does it hurt to know she is still sleeping with me? Or that when she caught you Liara she called me?" Jacob spat back as John eyes grew and he looked over at Miranda with rage. Miranda simply rolled her eyes at him._

* * *

"Why did you tell him that?" Miranda asked letting out a sigh. "It was one time Jacob. One time." 

"One time a year ago, not that long." Jacob leaned the back of his head against the glass and closed his eyes. He tried to remember life before all of this, when brining Shepard back to life was it and nothing more. He was not the love of Miranda's life; could they have ended up together in the end? If John never came back? Would they have even won the war for a life for them to go back to? Miranda had been at his side though Cerberus but after John left he was not so surprised that she was right behind him. Of course she was, Miranda always would be. 

"What are you going to do with your life Miranda?" Jacob asked bluntly pulling his head forward looking her in the eyes. "Just going to sit around waiting for John? Til what? He gets bored with his toys? Til he is too old to take care of himself? He is going to die alone the way that bastard deserves." 

"Jacob!" Miranda shouted at him. Jacob started walking away but before he could leave Miranda took hold of his hand. Miranda said his name softly again putting her fingers through his hands. Jacob always remembers the feeling of her hands in his. Jacob thought of the times together at Cerberus the way she was an ice queen but she always made him feel warm. Jacob thought of their nights together the way Miranda's soft skin always felt against his. Jacob watched her eyes shining in the dim light. He thought of every reason to run away with her, take her with him but he pushed her away. 

"Not anymore Miranda," He said quietly walking away. "I won't do this anymore. When things finally fall apart just give me a call." Jacob took off down the hall. Miranda stood in shock as the light above her flickered. Slowly she went over to the glass and put her back against it as she slid to the ground in a heap.

* * *

"John are you alright?" Kaiden asked as John walked over cursing under his breath. 

"Fine. I am fine, let's drink. Let's drink and pretend I didn't have to look at Jacob." John said leaning over the bar counter he grabbed an asari waitress by the arm and pulled her towards him, "Darling we are going to need your VIP room, we are going to need a lot, I mean a lot of alcohol. Also we are going to need dancers; I'll need you, and more alcohol." John kissed the young asari on the cheek before backed away giggling. John took a bottle of rum from behind the counter and took the cork off with his teeth drinking it. 

"John, what about Miranda? What about Jacob? Also that is considered theft." Jane said taking the bottle from John and putting it back behind the counter. John unzipped his leather Jacket and rubbed his stomach "Jane I want to eat, I want to drink, and I want to forget that a we have to run into un-pleasant things like Jacob in this world." John saw the look on Jane's face; it was one that he had seen when Miranda knew he was hiding something, when he was being mischievous. John waved her off and took off for the dance floor to collect James, Joker, and EDI. James threw his hands in the air excited to see John as if it had been years. John gladly took the hug James threw on him. Joker was laughing uncontrobly as EDI helped him standing with two feet on the ground. Joker was swinging his cane in the air to the beat of the music. EDI tapped John on the shoulder slowly handing Joker over to him. 

"Ex Commander Shepard," EDI said in her monotone voice, "As much as I do enjoy ferocity dancing with Joker he has reached that limit where he, as Jack has taught me to say, no longer my problem. I shall receive him at the end of escapes. Or as Jack also tells me, your 'manly men' night. As they are referred to. Tali refer to them as the night Garrus forgets he is a parent."

"What are you saying EDI?" John asked helping Joker stand. 

"I have been given strict orders from Tali to make sure Garrus gets back home safely." EDI said pointing across the room to a staggering Garrus flirting with an asari waitress. 

"Ah you are babysitting then." John said grabbing the back of Jokers collar as he tried to stagger off. "That is fine no need to ruin another married man's life. Nice to know Tali are programming you to for her own doing." John joked. "I will take care of Joker, send Tali my regards." 

"Yes Shepard." EDI took off without another word for Garrus who tried to swat her way for a moment. EDI pulled his head into her and spoke into his ear what John assumed was something Tali asked EDI to tell Garrus in case he tried to stay out and ignore his 'fatherly duties. John had always admired Garrus finally finding someone who made him happy. Minus the fact that Tali was keeping tabs thinking John was a bad influence. John knew he was though, with his life style he just wanted to have fun and didn't care much when he went out with his crew what would happen. If they wanted strippers John would have them on speed dial, if they wanted to drink all night he would order a round. John never told his men 'no' when it came to going out. It would be Garrus or anyone else conscience that would deal with it in the morning, not his. Garrus waved good bye to John who waved back laughing. He never thought of Garrus as being on a leash, but he couldn't think of a wife who would want her husband out til the crack of dawn getting drunk with a bad influence. The asari from behind the bar earlier waved her hand calling for Shepard as a petite blonde young woman, a purple, and a blue asari all come from the behind the bar and headed into the private room each carrying a tray of different liquor. 

John ushered over James and Joker to Kaiden and Jane. Jane had a frown on her face and as John walked over he could see the blue flickering in her eyes. John knew she was worried about Miranda, that Garrus or Kaiden probably spilled his secrets. It wasn't really a secret anymore. Everyone in Cerberus knew Jacob and Miranda use to be involved and word had gotten out fast when Shepard was in the picture. Everyone in Alliance knew when Shepard was grounded because of his Cerberus, now Alliance crew, huge mouths. John wasn't in the mood to care though. Miranda had taken off after Jacob which was her decision not to stay with him. Miranda had lied to him so why did he feel so betrayed? 

John had lied too many times to Miranda, far too many. Miranda had always been forward and honest with him he never thought she would just lie to him, or sleep with Jacob. Were the signs there and he just did not see it? Was it obvious or was John losing touch with her? The connection they use to have been the one he started and growing with someone else. 

"John." Jane said his name flatly tapping her combat boots. "Are you sure drinking is such a good idea?" Jane asked her eyes still flickering. John looked at Jane's face realizing since the kiss he had not said more than two words to her. He could tell her he was caught in the moment that he thought it was chivalrous act but not eve John was sure. John waved down a bartender asking him for a drink Jane did not understand. The bartender nodded grabbing a shot glass; he poured a bright glowing purple drink handing it back to John. He shoved the drink into Jane's hands. "What is this? Jane asked. 

"The best damn drink you're going to have!" Jack said throwing her arm around Jane. "Thanks for the invite John!" Jack said smiling.

"Jane. For two seconds. Please. Don't be so good." John put his hands on Jane's shoulder feeling her frame under his hands. Jane was not some small girl, she was a woman, and she was built strong and he saw how much she could handle herself. John head was spinning his thoughts lingering in his head he just wanted to forget. He knew Jane could see the red in his eyes, that he was talking soft to coax her. "You can't drink away your problems. Only way to deal with them is head on." Jane told him. 

"Yes but for once, just once Jane. Be in my shoes. Be THIS version of yourself." John said point to himself smiling. 

"I am doing this because I want to. You have nothing over me." Jane said drinking the shot as fast as she could. John smiled as James pushed him aside he picked up Jane and threw her over his shoulder. "I should've mentioned that shot is one of the strongest. Krogan Made Jane." John laughed. 

"Down the rabbit hole Shepard." James said carrying Jane off to the back room. 

"Is this a good idea?" Kaiden asked watching Joker follow James waving his cane, limping, like he was in a marching band. Jack was off flirting with two Alliance Solider sitting in the back of the bar. They followed her willingly into the back room. "Did you really have to bring up his divorce John?" 

"No but, it's this or I follow Jacob and kill him." John rubbed his hand on the back of his neck. "Look Jacob has not been on my good side and it should be more obvious I am not going after Miranda."

Kaiden waved off John, "I won't push it John. I just think you should be there for her." John rolled his eyes. He knew he should make sure Miranda is okay, that she isn't fighting with Jacob or upset. John was upset though, and the last thing he wanted was to look at her knowing she had been with a man he hated more than a Reaper. Kaiden patted John on the back. "Down the rabbit hole John."


End file.
